this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2024
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LinkedinLunatics

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A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com

(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)

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New position! (slrpnk.net)
submitted 9 months ago by Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to c/linkedinlunatics@sh.itjust.works
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[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 142 points 9 months ago

Can't have a gap on a resume...

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 87 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Totally with this. It's hilarious.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I exhaled slightly through my nose

[–] YurkshireLad@lemmy.ca 51 points 9 months ago

The one thing you don't want to announce before going to prison is "I'm happy to share!".

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 42 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Actually kinda brilliant the level of self awareness here.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Or the lack thereof.

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 7 points 9 months ago

Lemmites genuinely cannot comprehend satire, can they?

It's worse than Reddit.

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 39 points 9 months ago

hope those comments are wishing him a long career at Cumberland

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 29 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I don't know how Linkdin does these things, but is it possible that he just updated his job title as "inmate" and "Place of work" or whatever to FCI Cumberland and that the system did the rest, generating the sentence and adding the image? Or did he have to type it all out himself?

[–] Dragonstaff@leminal.space 22 points 9 months ago

100% the first one, but absolutely hilarious in any case.

[–] thepreciousboar@lemm.ee 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Who the hell thinks "tomorrow I'm going in jail, better update my linkedin profile so everyone knows"

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 months ago

Someone who spends way too much time on LinkedIn.

[–] itsathursday@lemmy.world 28 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Is this real?

[–] Bilbo_Haggins@lemm.ee 24 points 9 months ago

"Michelle Bond and her co-conspirator romantic partner attempted to fund her campaign for the U.S. House of Representatives by illegally using hundreds of thousands of dollars from corporate coffers, among other sources, and then lying to Congress and others to cover it all up," U.S. Attorney Damian Williams said.

The pair met in June 2021, according to prosecutors, and they have a young child together."

Holy fuck that child is going to have a fucked up childhood. I am so sorry, kid.

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 22 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The toxic positivity of LinkedIn continues.

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 3 points 9 months ago

There's nothing toxic about making a joke at your own expense.

[–] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

License plate making is a bit too crypto-adjacent in my opinion /s

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 months ago

Metal stamping is a good way to protect seed phrases from fire.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 11 points 9 months ago

This is fucking based as all hell

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

I'll bet his mom is super proud.

[–] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 4 points 9 months ago

https://youtu.be/FWqimMpbTyU

Salame!