this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 142 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

One of my best friends was also a neighbor of mine. I was on my porch smoking a morning cig and he yells over to me, "Hey, you want some hot chocolate?" I'm not the kind of person to turn down hot chocolate, so I say, "Sure." He brings it over, and we both drink our hot coco and smoke cigs while the sun rises over Tampa Bay. This is some real bro shit, and one of my fondest memories. However, it took a turn when I noticed the flavor of the hot chocolate. It was earthy. I really liked it, though, it was such a unique flavor, and I thought that it may have been some high quality chocolate or something, so I asked him. He said, "No, it's POT chocolate."

Now, I smoked some weed back in high school. You know, that brown basement weed that had been harvested from the roaches of that one friend's parent's ashtray. That weed. This wasn't that weed. This was high quality. This was potent. Still, I thought to myself, "I used to smoke weed all the time, this can't be that bad." I was wrong. That shit wiped me out. I was too stoned to move. I was fully ready to die in that chair. I watched the sun rise and set like the OG Time Machine film.

I hold no ill will towards my friend for the mix up. He legitimately thought I understood what he asked, and I know he would never do anything like that on purpose, but damn, that shit was wild.

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago

Inb4 neighbor yelled "hot choco" after all and gaslit you into thinking he said pot

[–] frigidaphelion@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

"like the OG Time Machine film" 😂 fkn been there man

[–] Juice@midwest.social 115 points 1 month ago

In college I got invited to hang with my Korean neighbors downstairs who were making brownies. One guy is stirring the butter, another is breaking up the weed to add to it. As this is going on, they're packing bowls to pass around, everyone is getting stupid high, just me and like 8 Korean dudes.

Brownies go in the oven, bowls keep getting packed and passed around. Finally the brownies come out, and everybody there has an acute case of the munchies, so we are all like desperately reaching our hands into the warm brownies, stuffing our faces with them until we devour the whole pan. 40 minutes to an hour later everyone is laying on the floor, groaning, giggling, just a room full of deleted dudes. I don't remember much else but that was an important lesson, don't get high while making brownies without any other food around, cuz when you hit those brownies they're gonna hit back

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 61 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] BodilessGaze@sh.itjust.works 72 points 1 month ago

If you get high enough, any musical can be a Shrek musical

[–] burgersc12@mander.xyz 26 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] TWeaK@lemm.ee 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Didn't they like stop paying the actors or something and then cheap out with the costumes?

[–] burgersc12@mander.xyz 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No idea. Only watched 5 minutes and its glorious

[–] TWeaK@lemm.ee 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Yeah I suspect this was filmed at the original version, from memory they toured around a bit and then cheaped out and fucked it all up. Like, the new Shrek costume was really bad and just looked like a green man had been shopping at the Gap.

Edit: according to the video linked in the comment below, it first ran in 2008 and was really good. Then, in 2024 they revived it, and it was bad. Really bad. For starters, the revival was anti-union and didn't hire any union workers.

[–] IMongoose@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The only things I know about it are from funny otamatone man:

https://youtu.be/XjUIgva1-fY?si=IyqvY75ylIhmsRps

But I think yes.

[–] TWeaK@lemm.ee 2 points 1 month ago

Yep that sounds like the story!

[–] HackerJoe@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

Thanks. I hate you so much.

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Oh my green gods, I know what I'm watching on repeat tomorrow!

[–] joranvar@feddit.nl 13 points 1 month ago

Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me...

[–] rand_alpha19@moist.catsweat.com 45 points 1 month ago (3 children)

put 1G per cracker because I'm autistic

???

[–] quilan@lemmy.world 42 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Naturally, he thought it was a Graham Cracker.

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

LMAO!!

Internet winner for today!

[–] Schmoo@slrpnk.net 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

See what they actually mean is that they're not really autistic, but they say they are because they think it's a good excuse for antisocial behavior.

[–] pupbiru@aussie.zone 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

it’s such a cringe trend

[–] frezik@midwest.social 2 points 1 month ago

Welcome to 4chan.

[–] Lux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Anon misread the instructions

[–] jmcs@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What does that have to do with being autistic?

[–] Lux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 1 month ago

Nothing, 4channers are just ableist

[–] lowered_lifted@sh.itjust.works 24 points 1 month ago

lol lightweight OP that's how you know it's real

[–] Entropywins@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago (2 children)

1 gram/edible is my go to with plant material. I got wrecked when I made chocolates with 1 gram hash per chocolate...absolutely fucking wrecked 9/10 recommend if you enjoy psychedelics.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

I love acid but that sounds awful

[–] TriflingToad@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (2 children)

are you saying weed is a psychedelic?

[–] Entropywins@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago
[–] TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)
[–] TriflingToad@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

interesting, I've only ever taken 10mg at a time lol
thanks for the info

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

This is the correct way to enjoy weed

[–] Thteven@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I ate too many pot cookies once thinking they were weak and then went to bed a couple hours later. I had a dream of floating in complete blackness and then a blinding white light hit me along with the loudest sound I've ever heard. I woke up sitting bolt upright in bed sweating through my sheets then called my friend babbling about how I saw God in a dream lmao

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You have dreams with weed in your system? Odd. The only time I dream is on the rare occasion when I don't need THC to sleep.

[–] Entropywins@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

That's always been a concern for me with cannabis and the lack of dreams. I mean, I feel normal, but 30 years of little to no dreams is that good for me? I guess I make up for it with my 24/7 day dreaming of winning the lottery, though.

[–] Juice@midwest.social 2 points 1 month ago

I think its pretty normal to have dreams if you're not a regular user, THC suppresses rem state but I think its a cumulative effect since I can still dream if I smoke once after not consuming for a long time. But when I was consuming multiple times per day, every day, I almost never had dreams.

But quitting will give you the craziest fucking dreams. Takes a while to get back to regular sleep. Usually the day after a long period of consumption I'll just straight up not sleep for a night or even two.

[–] MoogleMaestro@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 month ago

There's a shrek musical?

[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

My first attempt at cooking with weed I used an ounce in a 9"x9" brownie pan. One brownie and I could feel hair growing in my mouth

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

With today's weed that's maybe 260mg of THC at the very most, assuming a perfectly temperature-controlled environment. It's a large dose, yes, but nothing insane. If you smoke/dab/vape more than 2-3 times a week then ~200mg is manageable. And daily tokers don't have to start panicking until they've passed the 600-1000mg threshold. Even then tolerance builds rapidly.

The point I'm making is that OP fucked up, yes, but it's not a big deal.

[–] zer0squar3d@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You seem knowledgeable, how bad would be 1kg?

[–] velvetThunder@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 month ago

The Mafia you work for / stole from gonna be the bigger problem.