61

Bottom text, want to find me a communist qt

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 54 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

None of them. They're all pretty terrible. Enshittification has ensured they're literally designed to get in your way and make you feel bad about yourself to try and get your money. Full of flakey people too.

People do find success on them, but the strategy seems to be not to pick one, but to use all of them to the limited extent they let you use them without paying. Get in your six likes for the day or whatever and rotate to the next one and play the numbers game.

[-] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago

Right in ty

[-] RION@hexbear.net 51 points 1 year ago
[-] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago

volcel-judge We're watching you... scum.

[-] RION@hexbear.net 40 points 1 year ago

s Cum? Doesn't sound very volcel to me smuglord

[-] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago

Hello everyone who wants me?

[-] RION@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago

fellow Corgi admirers GET IN HERE lets-fucking-go

[-] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago

EVERYONE LOVE ME PLEASE HOLY FUCK SOMEONE HOLD ME

[-] ZoomeristLeninist@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
[-] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago

But uhhh....who loves me most here? My DMs are open!

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 25 points 1 year ago

The legacy of c/dating lives on

[-] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

Do not do this

[-] nat_turner_overdrive@hexbear.net 36 points 1 year ago
[-] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 31 points 1 year ago

What's new here is now both parties would be adults instead of one being a Discord mod

[-] snipvoid@lemm.ee 18 points 1 year ago

Maybe everything really does eventually become Second Life

[-] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

Woah, requiring ID? That's way more than most dating apps do.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] Vampire@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 25 points 1 year ago

One of the most disheartening things I ever did was just try to cynically play a numbers+sales game on dating apps where you just try to systematically get as many dates as possible and it worked. It did damage to my psyche that I still haven't recovered from. The connections were soulless, awkward, and heart wrenching. I'm mad just thinking about it. I'm better off doing anything else with my time

[-] GaveUp@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That is exactly how you're supposed to use dating apps though. These services' purpose is to commodify dating and intimate human connection. On the app, your profile is the packaging that you've created for yourself to market the value that you hold as a human being in hopes that others will think that whatever value they believe they can give to you, also matches the value that you can give to them

You did the "right" thing of treating yourself as a service/product and others as potential clients to sell yourself to

[-] Omegamint@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

Yeah I feel like early dating websites were a bit better but this is basically the meta for the apps now. I wouldn’t suggest it for most people because it’s a very hollow experience no matter how desirable you are

[-] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

Ya I did this too. I did eventually meet my current partner, but the process was soul crushing. I literally have nightmares of having to date again.

[-] Clippy@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

One of the most disheartening things I ever did was just try to cynically play a numbers+sales game on dating apps where you just try to systematically get as many dates as possible and it worked

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iLnZ4HCrfo&pp=ygUMeWd1cG5payBsb3Zl

yugopink did a great video talking about this experience, hope you recover from your expedition

[-] wtypstanaccount04@hexbear.net 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

There's no such thing as a cool dating app. All are designed to keep you lonely and paying. Dating apps are designed in such a way that makes grifters like Andrew Tate a whole lot of money. If you do choose a dating app, spend the number of swipes you have per day swiping and no more. Remember, dating apps are not designed to get you laid, make you happy, or find you love, they are designed to make money and that's it.

[-] Omegamint@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago

They’re all really bad and soul crushing. I’m not even talking from a perspective of someone that’s not had success, most of these apps push you into maximizing how many potential dates you can get and it’s not healthy. You’re find a lot more happiness developing hobbies and connecting naturally through them rather than juggling dates or the other awful shit women have to go through of trying to determine if the person is just using you for a quick lay

[-] GeorgeZBush@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago

Yeah I totally feel this. I really need to just....find social shit to do. All my hobbies are solitary and I keep to myself in public.

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] zifnab25@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago

The places I had the most luck meeting people have been athletic clubs and college alumni meetups. I'm an old OKCupid head, but managed to get out of the dating game before "superior" alternatives came out. I did meet some girls on there but we never really clicked. Going to actual events and meeting people socially was less stressful and got me in with whole social circles rather than one-offs. I joined a volleyball team with my roommate and ended up going out with a couple of different girls I met in the rec-leagues. They were all fun dates, and while they didn't stick we were on friendly terms for years after.

My sister met her current long-term SO on Tinder, but only after striking out on dozens of guys of varying creepiness. I've got a friend who does the works - Tinder / Bumble / etc - and gets laid regularly but rarely makes it past the third date. But there's definitely some enshitification thats made them worse over time.

Fwiw I found my wife of ~7 years who was my gf for ~3 years prior to that on OkCupid but that was ~10 years ago so maybe at this point it might as well be a different app idk

Went through a long series of bad, horrendous, and occasionally soul crushing dates before that so uh be prepared for it to suck a lot but like the IRA said to Margaret thatcher, we only have to be lucky once

[-] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago

I do a lot of mutual aid work, but thats never really led to anything. I'll just get ALL the apps, at least maybe I can have a bit of fun for a while.

[-] zifnab25@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

In my experience, you really need the post mutual aid relaxation event to make that work.

Like, at the thing, its all business. But if everyone heads off to the bar together afterwards, you get to connect with people.

[-] Coolkidbozzy@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago

imo hinge is the best app, but it depends on where you live & none of them got me into my current relationship

[-] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

I'm in a MAAAAJOR USA city so...

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] RedDawn@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago

They all suck lol

[-] BettyWhiteInHD@lemm.ee 17 points 1 year ago
[-] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

I'd get down with the king

[-] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

OkCupid still exists and while it's a shell of its former self, people on there tend to be more "different" or "weird" from my experience in a good way. If that's what you're into.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] ZoomeristLeninist@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

omg im so sorry :( ur week sounds terrible

yeah they all suck, so do what fourteeneyes suggested. in my experience ppl on tinder are more interested in hookups while bumble and hinge (more conservatives on hinge) are better for finding a relationship. i found my gf on bumble and it only took a month. and this was after using tinder for 3 months and meeting a bunch of ppl who i liked but were just wanting hookups/fwb and then a small handful of ppl who did want a relationship but one of us wasnt interested. bumble feels a lot more oriented toward relationships

wishing you the best! i hope you have better luck soon meow-hug

[-] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

Bumble is how we met. Probably gonna download it again soon.

[-] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

Thanks! I'm gonna try and repair things, but idk right now

[-] GaveUp@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Just from what I hear from friends (I've never used the apps), easily Hinge and then Bumble

I wish you the best with everything you're dealing with and trying to do cat-trans

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] 187_Invitation@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

From my experience tinder is basically useless lol, Bumble is good, less matches but way better conversations and more dates. I haven't tried Hinge yet but I hear its supposed to be good. Getting good pics is the most important, I had my photographer friend take some good pics for me. Good luck :)

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2023
61 points (100.0% liked)

askchapo

22749 readers
437 users here now

Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer ~~thought-provoking~~ questions.

Rules:

  1. Posts must ask a question.

  2. If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.

  3. Questions where you want to learn more about socialism are allowed, but questions in bad faith are not.

  4. Try !feedback@hexbear.net if you're having questions about regarding moderation, site policy, the site itself, development, volunteering or the mod team.

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS