964
Anon meets a good man (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 2 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
63 comments fedilink hide all child comments
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] thefartographer@lemm.ee 221 points 2 months ago

When I lived in New Jersey, I'd sometimes visit my sister in NYC and usually we'd hit up a comedy club. One time, Jim Gaffigan wandered in and did 10 minutes, totally killed it.

During his set, he mentions that he's a regular person and just wants to be treated the same way we'd treat any of our friends. I gave him a high five as he exited near my table.

A couple weeks later, I see him walking down the street, I say "hey Jim!" And he responds "hey..." like he was confused why he didn't know me. The next time I saw him randomly on the street, I asked if we're still on for lunch on Tuesday. He stopped walking and asked "what?" I kept waking and shouted, "great! See you on Tuesday!"

The following Tuesday, I made no attempt to see Jim Gaffigan for lunch the same way I would for any friend who didn't give me their number or make a true attempt to confirm plans.

After my dad died, I moved back to Texas and haven't seen Jim Gaffigan since. So now I talk shit about about him behind his back like I would for any unreliable friend.

Tldr: had three brief interactions with Jim Gaffigan, dude is incredibly patient and pleasant. 10/10, would invite him to lunch and not show up again cuz he's an unreliable asshole of a friend.

[-] Dhs92@programming.dev 76 points 2 months ago

What a rollercoaster

[-] joelfromaus@aussie.zone 15 points 2 months ago

Reading ops comment was an experience to be sure.

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 27 points 2 months ago

you gotta earn the friendship first like any other

[-] HottieAutie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 2 months ago

OMG, a gem! I love it when I run into awesome shit posts like this. Thank you!

[-] dariusj18@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I want this to be true and I want Jim Gaffigan to read it and say, "Now it makes sense."

[-] thefartographer@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago

The good news is that it's true—if you hang around the trendy yet modest parts of NYC that my sister used to frequent, you'll run into a crazy number of celebrities

Whether Jim remembers or cares, who knows.

I like to think that he occasionally reminds his agent about that time they dropped the ball for that Tuesday lunch.

[-] Podunk@lemmy.world 119 points 2 months ago

Robert downy wears black face. People still love him.

John goodman wears a kkk hood, people love him.

I fuck one goat...

[-] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 45 points 2 months ago

Ew. Goat fucker.

[-] Blackout@fedia.io 30 points 2 months ago

That goat was already betrothed to another

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 24 points 2 months ago

Was the blackface tastetul? How were the lips, were they funny?

[-] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 48 points 2 months ago

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 38 points 2 months ago

That's not blackface, that's a black man

[-] Glytch@lemmy.world 70 points 2 months ago

That's a dude playin' a dude disguised as another dude.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 20 points 2 months ago

I want to see him play a role opposite the MTV Movie Award Best Kiss winner Tobey Maguire

[-] Clanket@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago

It took me longer than I care to admit while watching Tropic Thunder to cop on that was RDJ.

[-] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 months ago

As tasteful as Lawrence Ollivier in Othello

[-] bamfic@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Or couch

load more comments (5 replies)
[-] misterundercoat@lemmy.world 89 points 2 months ago

I had a similar experience, except I said "you're the guy from Big Lebowski!" and he said yep and then smashed my car windows with a crowbar.

[-] LouNeko@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

That wasn't Goodman, that was Freeman.

[-] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 2 months ago

I just wanna let him know that I liked Speed Racer and thought it was a fun and unique movie.

[-] dessimbelackis@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Were you skiing in the Alps?

[-] Laser@feddit.org 6 points 2 months ago

You don't find a stranger in the alps

[-] Fox@pawb.social 4 points 2 months ago

You see what happens?

[-] BenFranklinsDick@lemmy.world 60 points 2 months ago

John Goodman once gave me cocaine at a bar near the Chinese Theater in Hollywood, and none of my coworkers were there to see it so they didn't believe me.

[-] halvar@lemm.ee 61 points 2 months ago

I once run out of toilet paper and the store didn't have any, but in the parking lot I bumped into John Goodman and without a word spoken he handed me over a package of toilet paper. Really nice guy.

[-] Sharkwellington@lemmy.one 52 points 2 months ago

I saw John Goodman at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

[-] evidences@lemmy.world 28 points 2 months ago

When I was younger, maybe junior high, I got roped into watching my 3 month old niece while my sister got her hair done. So there I am, sitting in the waiting area of a hair salon with my niece, and who walks in but John Goodman!

I was nervous as fuck, and just kept looking at him as he read a magazine and waited, but didn't know what to say. Pretty soon though my niece started crying, and I'm trying to quiet her down because I didn't want her to bother Mr Goodman, but she just wouldn't stop. Pretty soon he gets up and walks over. He started running his hands through her hair and asking what was wrong. I replied that she was probably hungry or something. So, John put down his magazine, picked up my niece and lifted his shirt. He breast fed her right there in the middle of a hair salon. Chill guy, really nice about it.

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

When I was about seven, I wanted a Shetland pony but my parents were too poor to buy me one. Anyway one day I'm at a pony show, and in comes John Goodman between two horses at a fast trot. He talked with me and my parents about horse husbandry and marriage laws, not once letting go of the horse on either side of him. He was super chill and kept winking at me, and when the horn sounded, he bid us a cordial goodbye and galloped away with his horses on either side, jumping a fence along the way.

[-] WldFyre@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago

Oddly enough I once got hit by a car driven by John Goodman.

We lived in the same neighborhood while I was doing Norm and I never actually saw him but my lady neighbors wouldn't stop yammering about living near John and his red Porsche Carrera. I don't drive. I'm not afraid of cars or anything, I just don't care for 'em. I was walking to grab eggs before the grocery store closed one night -- this was back before everything was open 24/7 -- and I saw a red Carrera coming in the right lane but he had a red light and no turn signal on so I figured I could cross the street at the light no problem. Then I remembered that ol' Pacha himself drove a red Porsche and I thought I should ask for an autograph when he stopped. My son was a huge fan and would have got a kick out of it. There was a problem though. John turned right and barely slowed down before his windshield broke my fall.

He got out and started apologizing and I couldn't believe it was him. Living in the same neighborhood, working in the same circles, attending the same professional events, and I was to meet John after he nearly ran over me. When he got out of the car I was digging through my wallet for something he could sign for my son and he apologized and asked how much it would cost to keep the police out of the whole affair. I said I didn't want any money, just a signed picture or something. He kind of looked at me weird and asked why I wanted his autograph and then it hit me: It wasn't John. It didn't even look like him. Not one day goes by that I don't think about that old man and how much I want to punch him right in the fucking face.

load more comments (10 replies)
[-] robocall@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Really?

[-] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 34 points 2 months ago

An ex met Keanu Reeves on an airplane when she was ten and said he was very kind and gave her his autograph. I hope both of these men remain awesome and no awful secrets come out to damage my appreciation for their being good dudes.

[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago

Well, he's not John Doucheman.

[-] jimmydoreisalefty@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

It is an awesome life experience when the "Never Meet Your Heroes" saying does not apply!

[-] WhoPutDisHere@lemmynsfw.com 9 points 2 months ago

I've met him a couple of times. Shook my hand once. I've got some pretty big hands, but his completely overtook mine. Left a decent amount of sweat behind. Worth it.

[-] robocall@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

I would enjoy a couple hundred bucks right now

[-] kandoh@reddthat.com 6 points 2 months ago

I thought he was an alcoholic

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 56 points 2 months ago

Not everyone is an asshole when they're drunk.

[-] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 2 months ago

I am very fortunate in that I love to drink and alcohol makes me happy and friendly and silly. I have the potential to embarrass myself but almost no risk of terminating a friendship.

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 7 points 2 months ago

Same. I just get real talkative and all my negative emotions leave my body (at least until hangover time comes around). By contrast when I'm sober I'm usually very quiet and stay out of the conversation. Drinking fairly regularly for two decades now I've never had a "drunk asshole" moment like a lot of people seem to do. Even when I've gotten into arguments and things like that. I just don't get angry.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Psythik@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

My brother's first roommate was an alcoholic. First time I saw him sober it completely caught me off guard cause he was so much fun to be around when he was drunk, but a completely normal and boring dude while sober.

I hope he got the help he needs.

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 26 points 2 months ago

So? Some of the best men I have known were alcoholics.

[-] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

can be a fun drunk

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2024
964 points (99.2% liked)

Greentext

4281 readers
794 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works