never touch something that looks like a carrot plant in the wild, because it could be that one plant that kills you 3 times over.

Okay so when you said "Never touch" I was thinking casually "Oh, don't go messing with it or munching on it or whatever. Sound advice."

Looking it up, oh...poison hemlock...you were being dead-exact.

Source

"As his doctor, Christopher Hayner, MD, pointed out, LeBlond didn't have to eat the poisonous plant to fall ill. "Anything you can touch, you can also inhale," he explained to Good Housekeeping. When LeBlond used a chainsaw to cut down the hemlock, tiny particles scattered in the air, and when he breathed them in, they almost killed him."

Oh holy crap. ~~Kill it with fire~~!

"If you do find a suspicious stalk and want to remove it, wear gloves, a face mask, and protective clothing. Dig it out from the roots, rather than cutting it, and never burn it, as the fumes can cause a reaction."

Not even fire can sate its lust for indiscriminate killing?!

Apparently it's a "recent problem" that this stuff is spreading all over the place.

It was as I suspected. Going outside is overrated. 😬