DEAR MISS MANNERS: Lately at social events, I often find myself trapped by people who want to share, in excruciating detail, their genetic test results.
Each person finds their own results deeply compelling, marveling at length over being 3% this and 15% that, with stunning reveals like, “I thought I we were Welsh, but it turns out we’re Scottish!”
Meanwhile, the next person is on deck, barely half-listening, eagerly getting ready to launch into their own genetic saga.
Monologuing about the minutiae of one’s DNA is self-absorption at, quite literally, the cellular level. Is there a polite way to shut this down?
GENTLE READER: Oh, dear. Miss Manners would have thought that we had established the idea that bragging about one’s lineage is rude, and now it has started up again.
Well, you could try expanding the scope of the conversation. Try, “What would your ancestors have thought of the state of America today?” Or, “I suppose you must want to travel there now. What are your vacation plans this year?”
Or, “Excuse me, I need to freshen my drink.”
they tested my cum and it came back Probably Nordic, just like Opa always said!!
Cracker Americans will always ignore their ancestry when it's not interesting enough though. Like if they have one Italian or Irish ancestor they'll claim they are of Italian or Irish descent, but when they're English or Dutch or German or Scandinavian they never say that. A cracker could have 11 Swedish ancestors and 1 Scottish and the would call themself a proud celt.
Nah, certain types of people wouldn't shut up about being "viking blood" or whatever. The real "ignore this" is being Anglo. It's the free space.
My uncle who moved to Virginia says it's the opposite there and they're fucking lineage freaks who all want to trace their ancestry to this or that rock off the English coast