201
What has been the biggest surprise about getting older?
(lemmy.world)
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2023
201 points (99.5% liked)
Ask Lemmy
26924 readers
2017 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
This is painful. My wife's friend turned into her (wife's) mother, the person who she previously claimed she most hated. In this individual's case it's that when she had kids she stopped caring about doing better.
For me it was the opposite. I remember one day, when i had only one very young child, that i sounded like my mother. That was the incentive to turn it around. It was hard work and there was no internet yet to give me advice.
Also, when my kids were in their teens i found it very helpful when i read a brochure about triple p parenting. I could not join them for a course, but the tip that changed a lot was; complimenting my kids instead *for good behavior *of berating them when they did something that was not 'good'. The results were really good and i felt happier in the process, because it was much nicer to compliment my kids instead of hearing yourself being annoyed when they did something 'bad'.
Edited to add a clarification, in italics
I'm not sure I get it, maybe because I'm not a native speaker. So you said something like 'Great job buddy, that was very much not good!'?
Praise vs criticism. So on balance more noticing and complimenting of the good they do, over criticizing their bad actions. Actually a lot more effective than criticism, in fact some schools purposefully ignore bad behaviour (within reason) while emphasizing praise for good behaviour.