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What has been the biggest surprise about getting older?
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this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2023
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I'm not sure I get it, maybe because I'm not a native speaker. So you said something like 'Great job buddy, that was very much not good!'?
No, i started focusing on the things they did well, instead of focusing on the negative. It's quite easy to only see which behavior is not acceptable and focus on that. But if kids do something positive, it's easy to take it for granted, instead of for instance complimenting them. In other words, my perspective changed.
If i look at my parents; they were always punishing me and if i behaved in a way they liked, they would say nothing, because that is the way i had to be. So, in their eyes it was normal to behave and that did not need to be complimented. So, their focus was exclusively on punishment, no rewards.
Hope this makes a bit more sense (not a native speaker either)
Thanks that makes a lot more sense. I try to strike a balance, but focusing on the positive sounds gold. I'll give it a try.
Praise vs criticism. So on balance more noticing and complimenting of the good they do, over criticizing their bad actions. Actually a lot more effective than criticism, in fact some schools purposefully ignore bad behaviour (within reason) while emphasizing praise for good behaviour.