Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !uspolitics@lemmy.world
7) No Hit-and-Run questions.
Please don't delete your post for no apparent reason. If you plan on deleting a question later, say so in the post, or if you feel that you have a good reason to remove it, message a mod beforehand. It's not fair to the ones who took their time to answer, and it's not in the spirit of the community.
8) No Bots.
Posts or comments from bots, LLM's, AIs, Neural Networks, Transformers, or Marvin the Paranoid Android are not welcome in AskLemmy. Real humans only please.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
My boyfriend cares about me. Like, deeply. Like he will go out of his way to do things to support me. I was raised being told over and over that men are selfish and generally more concerned for themselves than their wives. That I need to be prepared to shoulder more of the burden. This is weird. He’s super nice. I can’t get over it.
I see this depiction of men all the time, and it just baffles me.
At the end of the day, most men are so happy when they are able to provide, protect, and support their wives / families / friends. Doing so is how most men measure their success in life. As Eddie Murphy said, all we really ask in return is the big piece of chicken.
because it's a projection. the women who complain about men being like that... are mostly talking about themselves.
i've dated many women who thought that way... and they are talking about themselves. they see the world through an adversarial lens and everything is about them having power over others and being terrified of anyone having power over them.
and if you explain to them you don't want any power over them they simple don't believe you. they think it's a lie or a manipulation tactic.... because that's how they treat everyone, through lies and manipulation. and no matter how honest you are with them... doesn't matter because they don't believe honesty exists.
parents project their shit onto their kids, it sucks.
a lot of unhappy people, refuse to let anyone around them ever be happy. you're allowed to be happy. don't let other folks unhappiness ruin yours, because they will try very hard to ruin it for you.
My wife is like that for a lot of valid reasons. If I may give you a useless piece of advice, enjoy it instead of fighting it because he may be serious about what he is doing.