Ask Lemmy

I'm 45 now. If you would have told me at half my age how angry and sad I am in general, I probably would've been very confused and broken hearted. I guess the time is important for the desensitization.

The American experiment ending like this, with not one person standing up for it.

I’m 40, half a life ago I was 8 years pre-lung transplant. I’d be shocked that I did it at all, I was very anti-transplant for various reasons but having kids I love enter my life when I was 22 changed my mind, which would also be a shocker since I was also anti kids at 20, but I’d also be shocked it worked, one of the main reasons I was against it was I was sure if I got one I would suffer even more and die anyway. So I guess at the end of the day, I’d be mostly surprised I wasn’t dead.

I'm a woman now.

Well 15 year old me, you'll figure it out in about two years.

26, to my 13 self would be wack. I came out at 17, married at 24, divorced at 25. Still the same kid looking for friends and a family. I would've believed my parents would be homophobic at 13 and they still are at 26. I dropped out of college, didn't marry my girlfriend. I'm a chef now, I studied hard to follow my dad into an IT career, that went no where fast.

My 13 yo self would think I'm a loser and an addict. He was very dumb and a 13 yo, lmao wtf do they know.

How boring I am

That everything I learned about computers from assembly language in the 80s to tinkering with all the operating systems in the world would be thrown in the trash by a bunch of moronic managers who decided that ChatGPT was better than learning and being curious.

And as a result, that I would be disgusted by what is happening with programmers, and that I would find another job that does not involve any technology whatsoever. I loved that shit, I hate what it has become.

Sorry for how trite and predictable this is, but even though I was pretty cynical half my life ago, I couldn't have imagined so vile and corrupt a personage occupying the White House as what is there now, nor how easily and with how much cooperation they've been able to destroy the Constitution and government that was based on it.

40 now. At 20 I was a know-it-all crusader against having kids and now my two children are the absolute center of my universe.

I can't even begin to explain the kind of joy these two kids create out of thin air. It's simply beyond my ability to describe how much I love them and how grateful that I am to have met a woman I loved so much that it seemed wrong to not want to bring more of her into the world.

I am so fucking overwhelmed that my life turned out the way it has that I suffer from hidden imposter syndrome because I just don't feel like I deserve to be this happy.

All I can do is try to be a worthy father and husband.

How much I've started to hate technology. It's like I had smart phones before my peers had flip phones. Same with computers; let me go to the computer graveyard room and put one together for myself. My family was very into tech so I had a computer since I was 5.

I think at this point I'm just not into it. Same with cars; I like my almost thirty year old cars.

My boyfriend cares about me. Like, deeply. Like he will go out of his way to do things to support me. I was raised being told over and over that men are selfish and generally more concerned for themselves than their wives. That I need to be prepared to shoulder more of the burden. This is weird. He’s super nice. I can’t get over it.

I still cannot belive I am married to my wife. She is amazing. She can basically solve any problem. She is a great mom. She helps me talk through my problems, she helps me make decisions, she can hold up her end of a conversation, and she is beautiful. I've always been fascinated by women in their late 30's or 40's that were still beautiful, and now I have one living in my house.

How badly everything has gone.

The hair loss would be news, but I wouldn't really be surprised. I knew it happens.

I’m 44. The fact I’m still living. Nothing is wrong with me health wise. It’s just that past 40 is such a long time to live.

The amount of weed I smoke. Teenage-me was still in the process of deprogramming from D.A.R.E. propaganda. She wouldn't have expected to become a full-blown stoner in her 30s.

I've always had a strong memory, and unfortunately it feeds into my anxiety and depression. Weed definitely impacts my memory, but it's a benefit - normally, all the stupid little things of the day would torture me. I'd be overanalyzing every word I said, worrying over social mistakes that nobody else even remembers happening. It's a mental process that only serves to hurt me, and that I raw-dogged sober for most of my life. Weed lets me break that cycle, change my focus, and not remember all the dumb little details that don't actually matter, but that would otherwise keep me awake at night.

As a teen, I would've struggled to understand that there could be benefits to marijuana. She would've just thought the self-torture was normal. Life's weird like that sometimes.

50, second marriage.

50 years old.

1. That I am as "successful" as I currently am. Measured by typical achievement of "The American Dream".
2. Why the fuck do I live on a cul-de-sac in some boring-ass suburban neighborhood with literally zero charm or culture. I should be living on the top floor of some mixed-use urban building with a subway or light rail station across the street.
3. Most importantly, younger me would be so disappointed in my Christmas lights. Where are all the Christmas lights? I have a house. I can afford plenty of Christmas lights. Why are my house and yard and trees and bushes not absolutely doused in Christmas lights. Like Clark W. Griswold levels...you see younger me, it turns out that having a house is already a lot of stupid, unnecessary work, and then putting up Christmas lights and taking them down is even more work and I'm tired.

Half a life time ago, I was 20 and the only thing different between then and now that really would surprise 20 year old me would be hearing I have ADHD, BPD, and am autistic since I wasn't diagnosed until my 30s.

The biggest surprise would definitely be that I'm trans, so I look completely different now than 19-years-old me might have imagined :D

The two things I think would be most surprising to 25 year old me would be that I still skateboard regularly, and how happy I am being single, as they'd just gotten married and been told they're too old to be skating.

I'm 29. I'd be surprised I'm still alive.

When I was a depressed and extremely suicidal teenager, I decided that if nothing had improved for me by the time I was 20, then I'd kill myself then. When I set that time limit, I already had a couple of failed attempts under my belt (unbeknownst to my family), and desperately wanted to die. However, I felt guilty for the pain that would cause, which is why the attempts only happened when I reached a crisis point.

I had read suicide support guidance that advised to try and put distance between yourself and the suicidal feelings, because even just a day or two can help to stabilise the situation. Well my response was to take this logic and apply it to an extreme level, with significant spite attached. My logic was that if indeed things were just as hopeless when I was 20, I would feel justified in killing myself, and fuck anyone who would begrudge me my escape at that point. I didn't require things to be better-better by the time I was 20, I just needed something to change to show that it was still worth fighting.

Well, here I am, almost 10 years later, and I'm still alive. still struggle with suicidal ideation on a regular basis, and I suspect I will always have to keep an eye on my mental health. However, nowadays, when I get low, I don't actively want to die like I used to. Instead, it's usually a case of "I don't want to die, but I know I can't live like this".

Ironically, I think that planning my death saved my life. There were countless times over my late teens where I would've been at risk of making another attempt on my life, but instead would self soothe by counting down how much time I had left to ensure. It did mean that my early 20s were a bit confusing, as I was living a life that I had planned without ever expecting that I'd get that far. And I still sort of feel like these past 10 years have been a massive bonus level that I'm half expecting to be swept away from me at any moment, but I'm still here.

There are other things I could have replied to this question with, but nothing will trump my surprise at still being alive (and wanting to be)

I was a rolling stone - drifting and drinking aimlessly through my 20s, backpacking, boozing and picking up weird jobs and weird people as I wandered through Europe and south east Asia. Now I'm an IT manager and married with 2 kids, a mortgage and a dog.

That I could love myself. That I'd be a productive member of society. That I'd be a square.

The level of evil that adults are capable of. My young self would never have imagined it. I used to think humans were nice to each other.

That I'm driving an electric car. In highschool this would have felt impossible after GM blew up their lead.

I'd be astonished how I can feel existential uncertainty while having the salary I currently have.

that I'm alive, i was 100% convinced in the 1980s i'd be dead by 2000, i'm now 58. and its 2026.

I honestly don't know what the fuck happened; (

I am surprised that I made it out of my 20s and 30s alive. I also didn't expect to have a job that aligns with my ethics. I am a caregiver for high functioning adults with special needs and pretty good at it.

I would be surprised that I'm with the person I'm with, living where I am.

Probably how cool and popular I am. 17 year old me was pretty awkward and bad at socializing.

At 21 years old, I would never have thought I'd be living in [REDACTED] with 4 kids, a GF and awell paying job I actually like.

Alternatively, 21 year old me would probably have had his mind blown if I'd shown him all the places in the world I've had the pleasure of visiting.