cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/8955441
He was a coomer, Ben Franklin?
this post was submitted on 06 Jul 2026
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I mean, set aside the slavery politics for just a minute, because that's low hanging fruit.
Imagine showing Thomas Jefferson the Hoover Dam. Imagine introducing Thomas Paine to the internet. Imagine George Washington's face illuminated by a mushroom cloud. How fucking dumb do you think Benedict Arnold would feel if you dropped him onto the deck of a US Aircraft Carrier. How flabbergasted would James Madison feel if you explained that we literally call it the "White House", because we never changed the color after the British burned it down. What do you think Patrick Henry would have to say about Social Security?
FFS,
What would Hamilton think about his musical?
"I should have thrown away my shot..."
He wpuld write 5000 blog posts about it.
Thomas Paine is the only one I could tolerate hanging out with. The rest are getting pushed back into the time machine and sent to the Devonian period.
Great. Now the sudden appearance of invasive modern bacteria just caused a mass extinction in the Devonian, the entire history of life on earth is changed, and the dominant life form is an amphibian of roughly chimpanzee intelligence.
Sounds like progress
I mean, the smell alone would be pretty horrible
Hey now, Paine would be a monster on TikTok
Who?
Benedict Arnold
Never heard of him.