this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] did_you_find_violets@lemmy.world 10 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

my guess: for men, even little things such as seeing boobs (especially in real life) is “taboo”/exciting. so their idea of “perverted” is pretty tame.

[–] SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip 7 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah, for many of us, the experience of women wanting sex is rare. All of those "I have a headache tonight" jokes didn't just fall out of the sky. And, the expected retort to that example is, "obviously, you're not very good at it, then," which reinforces the idea that sex is a competitive event that a man has to develop his skills at in order to be allowed admission, rather than a collaborative activity for the enjoyment of both partners. Under that model, stuff which he enjoys and she doesn't is "perverted," and lots of us men end up thinking we're some grotesque deviants for wanting.

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world -1 points 2 hours ago (3 children)

which reinforces the idea that sex is a competitive event that a man has to develop his skills at in order to be allowed admission, rather than a collaborative activity for the enjoyment of both partners

This is a false dichotomy, because, based on the conversations I've been party to with my friend group (which includes a number of aggressively poly women), a lack of skill can and will make it harder to gain admission. Lack of skill can make it unenjoyable for the other party, which can absolutely gate your admission.

One of my casual partners in my friend group will semi-regularly reference a former short-term partner who was rather well endowed but didn't know how to use the equipment he had. Lack of skill is what caused her to drop the partner, and I've heard similar conversations with other AFAB friends.

[–] Soulg@ani.social 1 points 20 minutes ago

I'm sorry, you're saying it's a false dichotomy but then immediately just supporting their entire point. I don't really know what you're trying to say but it feels like trying to sweep under the rug the difficulties men have

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 1 points 54 minutes ago* (last edited 54 minutes ago) (1 children)

AFAB = All Friends Are Bi?

It's too similar to ACAB for me to come up with anything else.

[–] Soulg@ani.social 2 points 22 minutes ago

Assigned female at birth

[–] SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip 1 points 56 minutes ago

For what it's worth, I'd call that a failure of collaboration, rather than losing the competition, assuming she communicated what works for her in some reasonable manner. I mean, I'm assuming that they wouldn't dump an unskilled man who's open to improvement?

[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 10 points 5 hours ago

That's kinda the same no? For the most part, the taboo is not one that the individual has created, it's a societal thing. The same society that creates women that are grossed out by the mention of a blowjob creates the man who freaks out when he sees a boob.