traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
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Stay on topic (trans/gender stuff).
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Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.
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When made outside of NSFW tagged posts, comments about dysphoria/traumatic/transphobic material should be spoiler tagged.
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content warning
spoiler depress, suicide
I'm very good at coping so I don't notice this often but the baseline level of thoughts I have are just really bad.
Like we're talking "puts down the phone due to boredom, what's the first thing you think of" kinda baseline thoughts.
I'll paraphrase my inner voice:
And it's true no? I didn't really try all that seriously. It was too easy to give up. Too much time to turn back.
I'm tired.
I'm so fucking tired. Being suicidal and dysphoric is an all consuming state of being. I just want to be freed. I want to kill myself so I stop thinking about killing myself. I don't want to be overcome by fear anymore, but my brain keeps giving me daydreams of my death.
It feels like the end of my life is already here and the reaper is just stuck in traffic. You see, the afterlife runs on american carbrain. It's hell after all (where I'm going).
Before you tell me to go see a psychologist, I've already gone. So many times. I don't want to anymore. It just makes it worse. I have bad associations with that clinic now.
:::