this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
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I have had exactly one strand of my hair catch fire in my life and the smell still echoes in my nostrils.
I work ar an italian restaurant wirh a pizza oven that sometimes instead of using the paddle i jusr reach into to turn or grab a pizza. My knuckles hair got singed off today. We had a Gom Jabbar test before to see who could keep their hand in the 650 degree oven longest. I won handily, I can bake my hands for 15 seconds before I gotta withdraw and the first 5 I feel nothing. I burn my arm hairs and shit in the oven all the time. I have like 3 relatively fresh burns on my hand rn cause I dont notice it anymore. My superstition is you either get burned or cut. I never ever ever cut myself when chopping stuff, last time was 3 years ago on a mandolin, it was pretty gnarly, sliced my palm into a skin pez dispenser. If I keep the burns, it appeases the God of Fire and he will keep the God of Sharp Things at bay. Id rather burn than bleed
This sounds theologically sound to me. Gaius Mucius Scaevola, just to keep things Italian, can be your patron saint.
I dont think patron saints and multiple gods go together, he can be a prophet. Me and another guy there are both fairly well versed in Greek mythology and we mock our chef for his hubris to the point he has caught on and said 'im going hubris mode!'. It's fun to overstate people's accomplishments in a dead end job and using The Classics as a reference is fun.
The Greek mock-epic tradition agrees with you
I like "hubris mode". Gonna start incorporating that into my critiques of my friend's cats.
It started when we were pretending to be Victorian era guys who felt a constant need to reference the classics. It's also fun to get it wrong on purpose like saying Achilles Heel to mean your heels are as strong as Achilles