this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2026
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I'm 32 and a virgin by choice, and I don't get why being a virgin is seen like such a bad or difficult thing.
You don't know what you're missing. It's not bad that you're a virgin, it's just that you will wish you would have started having sex sooner as soon as you finally have it. Why wait that long to have so much fun with someone? The sooner to start, the more you practice, the better you get at it and can find out what your kinks are, read your partner better, discover new things. It is truly a beautiful thing and I wish it to everyone to enjoy it as much as possible. And next to it being beautiful, it's also healthy. For men, it's recommended to ejaculate at least once a week to lower the chance of prostate cancer. And all the hormones, feromones, dopanimes, endorphins and raised heart rate are healthy to the body and mind.
They could be asexual as well.
Otherwise, I agree that it's best to start collecting experience earlier rather than later. 30 year old me has half the stamina of 20 year old me, but can satisfy partners with a much better success rate. And at the end of the day, the best part about sex is making your partner feel good.
But that doesn't mean one should have sex just to have sex. Only one of my partners has been a meaningless one night stand I wasn't even attracted to, every other one I've had some kind of feelings for.
I agree. I can't have sex with someone if I don't have a connection with that person.
That truly is the absolute best part of it. Getting an orgasm is easy, just use your hand. Giving an orgasm however, is so much more satisfying. Knowing what you're doing is really important. Otherwise you get into your head and struggle with insecurities instead of being in the moment. Or at least that's what I experienced when I was young.
That's not a choice.
Could seem like a choice to them. Plus I think ace is also a bit of a spectrum.
Fair point.
See, everyone thinks and feels differently about sex, it may matter a lot to one person but never cross the mind of another, one person may really want it, another may not, one may really enjoy it, and another may genuinely not. I'm glad you like it and it brings you joy, but I really don't want it. Being a virgin is apparently like being an introvert, everyone keeps pushing you to "get out of your shell" instead of respecting the way you are.
That was not my intention, but you're right, I'm sorry.