Lemmy Shitpost
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My partner is a week shy of being exactly 5 years older than me, I'm 35, she's 40. Most of the time we're basically the same person and that 5 year gap is basically nothing. We were both in pretty comparable stages in our lives when we got together ten years ago, there wasn't an imbalanced power dynamic from her being older than me.
But sometimes something comes up where that gap falls in just the right spot that something foundational to her childhood I was just too young for and for a brief second she cringes real hard and is just like "God dammit you're just a baby!"
A 5 year gap isn't as bad as you get older. But when I was 23 I had an 18 year old girlfriend for a month before I ended things, because she still had the maturity level of a child and it made me feel really gross.
It only lasted so long because I also happened to be her first (this was before my big head overrode my little head). She was the first (and only) virgin I had been with so I didn't know how to extract myself from the relationship without crushing her.
5 years later I met my wife who's also 5 years younger, but our life experiences were way more similar.
I was occasionally on the other side of that and really hated it. Iโm four years older than my ex, but also came from a more conservative (small c) town. Usually we were at the same stage of life but โฆ.. Sometimes that four years was a generation difference, which was very uncomfortable
Yep that's the thing. Most of the time the gap feels like nothing, others it feels like an entire generational difference and it hits her with massive psychic damage because for that moment I'm a little baby.