this post was submitted on 03 Apr 2026
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Chapotraphouse

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I shit you not, the central hook of the plot is a death star trench run to bomb a yellow cake facility in Iran's mountains. As you could imagine it's epic and Tom "Xenu" Cruise pulls it off effortlessly...but then! He gets shot down, and is forced to hijack an F-14 to fly home (getting gun kills on the way back).

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Man I unironically miss rehab day trips in the druggy buggy.

My last time in rehab we saw Across the Universe in a dollar theater on Christmas Day lol.