this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2026
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Jesus wasn't dead for three days. Dude died at like Friday night and was back before Sunday morning!!! If you got off work on Friday at 5 pm, and then came into work 6 am on Sunday, you would not call that a 3 day weekend smh lying ass Sunday school teachers
Okay but that's still not the point. The point is I had this dream where instead of a big stone wheel in front of the tomb, they put a big wheel of cheese. And it was up to you and me to help [Cheesus] eat his holy way out of the tomb so grab a cracker.
The point is I like cheese and if we can make a religion around it I'm there.
edit: it was right there i don't know why i missed it the first time
Have you considered melting the cheese and getting him out using nacho based instrumentation?
i have now. why is this not part of church in cheese country is what i want to know