this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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but who collects the sperm collectors' sperm?
This is so funny to me because it seems to me that your own sperm would be the easiest sperm to collect.
It does seem like rather than sending out elite battlefield extraction teams you could just... have the boys bank it before they deploy
It's probably bad for morale; like you'd have to face mortality before deploying. I got the sense that they're not exactly thrilled to be fighting because they just want to bully children and do war crimes, not actually have conflict.
what, it's not enough that your chosen seed will live on forever, you have to survive too? fascists these days
israel sends sperm soldiers out into the field in pairs, and when the first one busts, his partner picks up the probe and keeps extracting
Sperm team 6
Who splotches the Splotchmen
Doesn't have the same ring to it