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this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2026
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Was actually just thinking about this yesterday. How do non-binary people determine which restroom to use?
Yes I did do a 30 second search on my phone at work. I'm not clicking on Reddit, and the quick answers of "find a gender-neutral one" and "just hold it" dodge the question of "There's only M/F available and I am about to piss my pants".
The sad answer is it's usually the option that leads to the least amount of harassment or chance of assault.
I'm just trans, but I still tend to use the restrooms of the gender I got assigned at birth cause that's usually less stressful.
So I guess that tracks.
In Uni, 3 of my roommates were trans of varying types. General consensus in the trans community is that you use the bathroom that will cause fewest problems. For many that haven't transitioned, this is often the gender assigned at birth. If you're mid-transition or are still struggling with your presentation, ask a staff member (if there is a staff) or bring a friend if you can.
Have you considered your congressperson's/representative's desk?
If there's no gender neutral toilet (not including disabled toilets, those are for disabled people), I tend to just use the women's as that's what I'm perceived as and it would lead to less stares.