this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2026
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AskTransgender

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How do you figure out your identity? (lemmy.world)
submitted 11 hours ago by JayJLeas@lemmy.world to c/asktransgender@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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I know I'm not cis, but that's about it. I'm AFAB, I would like to appear more masculine, I have dysphoria around my chest and genitals and would like them to be more masculine, but I want to present as a femboy or a twink, I don't want facial hair or curves and I want a deeper voice. I like the idea of people not knowing what gender I am when they look at me. But at the same time neither she/her not he/him feel right for me, and I'm happier when people use they/them. Part of me thinks I don't need a label, but at the same time I feel like I need a way do describe and identify myself. Can anyone help? I feel so confused.

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[–] running_ragged@lemmy.world 5 points 10 hours ago

Figuring out identity I think boils down to figuring out what gives you dysphoria, vs what gives you euphoria. Which it sounds like you’ve already figured out quite a bit.

As far as a specific label goes, they’re meant to be descriptive. So the label that fits in a given situation is what works, and you shouldn’t have to pick one that is who you are. They aren’t meant to be prescriptive, deciding for you how you should be showing up. If that makes sense.

From what you describe, I would explore the nuances within the non binary spaces, and find some idea that fit you there, like maybe trans masc or something like that.