Bigfoot would like to address your concerns.

First, let’s clear the air. Yes, Bigfoot met with Hillary Clinton, once. The purpose was simple. To discuss whether America was ready for a cryptid in the Oval Office. In 2016, the conclusion was clear. America was not ready.

A lot has changed since then.

In the years that followed, I met with representatives from the Democratic National Committee, and together we agreed that my policies, and frankly, my image, would be better received in a post-Trump democracy. The country has grown. The Overton window has shifted. The vibes are different.

On policy, a Bigfoot administration would deliver federally legal marijuana and common-sense abortion laws that prioritize human women while respecting reality, natural science, and personal freedom.

Now, about my citizenship. There seems to be some confusion due to the fact that my listed residence is a redwood tree in Northern California. Let me be very clear: I was born here. I am a natural-born American. Multiple woodland creatures are prepared to testify under oath, including my beautiful deer wife.

My strongest policies will be concerning immigration and recent ICE misconduct. Under my administration, ICE and DHS would be rebuilt from the ground up with clear accountability and policies that would never allow the abuses we see today. Bigfoot has learned to coexist with humanity and I will take what I learned into action.

After all, my best friend, Chupacabra, immigrated here from Mexico. He’s a living example of how immigrants strengthen our economy and communities. He went from scuttling among rocks and occasionally siphoning goat blood to becoming a successful American entrepreneur in real estate and investment. That’s the American Dream!

Let me be clear! Bigfoot will stomp out corruption in 2028.