this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2026
530 points (99.1% liked)
196
5236 readers
1540 users here now
Community Rules
You must post before you leave
Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).
Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.
Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.
Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".
Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.
Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.
Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.
Avoid AI generated content.
Avoid misinformation.
Avoid incomprehensible posts.
No threats or personal attacks.
No spam.
Moderator Guidelines
Moderator Guidelines
- Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
- Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
- When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
- Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
- Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
- Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
- Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
- Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
- Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
- Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
- Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
- Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
- First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
- Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
- No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
- Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
- Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
"I'm gonna take this vent post about childhood trauma, and go out of my way to invalidate and be dismissive of every point individually. That will surely be helpful for others with similar trauma engaging with this post."
-- You
The post isn't positive or helpful. It reinforces negativity, feeds anger and increases overall stress. The dark side doesn't have cookies, it feeds on suffering, both of oneself and to others.
I don't see why a momentary boost with long term unwelcome side effects is preferable to a steadier, but more durable approach on life.
You do you, but I still think it's bad for you.
It is helpful. Being aware of these behaviours and how they could potentially map onto you is immensely valuable. You can't fix a problem if you're not aware of it
Sometimes you have to go through the dark to get to the light
And how is my comment not going through the dark to get to the light? I see a dark post and I'm going through it to show a bit of light on things. Just because some people disagree with what the light shows doesn't mean they should crawl back into the dark and hiss at what they see.
To someone who hasn't experienced relevant trauma, it may look that way. To those of us who have been through it, just knowing you're not alone can go a long way. The fact that people are talking about the issues from this post goes to show that what we've been through isn't healthy - and that's a message some people need to hear before they can overcome said-issues.
If you don't need reminders that your awful experiences are valid, and that it's okay to break free from the psychological cages you were put in as a child, consider yourself lucky.
Note that it's all part of a journey. Dwelling on the past long-term can be harmful, but putting in some deep thought to where you are and how you got there can be crucial for healing from childhood trauma. Commiserating with a post like this might seem depressing to you, but for many of us it is simply an early step toward that eventual goal.
Alright, it's a difference of perspectives. We walk spread around unevenly on a road unknown.
I won't delete the comment though, if that's something you might be asking. But if you think it's unhelpful, feel free to ask a mod to do it instead .I won't mind or make a circus out of it.
Oh, no, I wouldn't ask you to delete anything. I just know that forms of catharsis can look strange to those who don't experience the same feeling.
Like when someone finds that screaming out to heavy metal songs takes their stress away, while another person hears it and thinks, "How could they listen to something that makes them angry?" The trick is, the music doesn't "make them angry" at all. Rather, it provides a release to emotional tension that would otherwise still linger around inside a person, leading them to feel calmer in the end.
Posts like this provide a similar role, and that's all I meant to convey.
Looking around, guess it's easy to misinterpret words and meanings then.