this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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It won’t be as anywhere coherent as many here are suggesting. Expect extreme Hollywood stupidity, a grimdark Batman/Robin Hood who brutally kills the Sheriff's men but in an over-stylized speed-up and slow-down way like in 300 or The Matrix. Evil King John will be weirdly steampunk and actually working for Saladin to kill good King Richard and communicating through a clockwork magic portal thing. Robin is forced to murder the Merry Men to find and kill King John, but just when he arrives John pulls a giant chain that makes the portal grow. Then you’ll hear Hollywood middle eastern music as hordes of saracens led by King Richard pour out. Robin Hood will realize just as he kills King John that John was right and he has to close the portals and send Richard back, but England needs to believe in a good King so he does this while sacrificing himself to preserve the myth of the good King Richard the Lionheart.