Mildly Infuriating

@Wren @lmmarsano I think I might use that as my email signature

Then it would still be not nice (ie, patronizing & wrong) for the reasons stated in the rest of the message.

Can you name some of the groups?

The other reply is kinda accurate but I just wanted to give lived experience that the way I get treated is as if I'm more dangerous and more aggressive by default (where obviously a woman will get taken less seriously and be more in danger by default), but it still feels pretty bad to have people feel less safe around me when I have done literally nothing to cause it. I'm not blaming someone for saying they feel less safe around men, I would even agree, but that means the reality is many men who have done literally nothing feel the distrust and unease. The outright hatred I think is an online only thing, I've never heard anyone say anything similar irl.

Also I might say if you really want to help them to not discount their experiences, that's how we ended up with people like Andrew tate. The hatred does exist but almost always by a very loud very small minority online. And I'm sure the hatred does exist irl, from people who had really bad experiences with men, or they're just jerks. That can be reality, and when you get blamed by those women it's painful. Women are just people, and there are good and bad women because there are good and bad (or maybe just hurt) people.

I think the "men evil", "woman good" is just worded to strongly but is generally true (not actually true, but people considered it to be true).

Its more "men dangerous", "men threatening" and not "evil". A man in a women's bathroom is a threat. A women in a mans bathroom is there because there was a line for the woman's bathroom. The actual reason for those scenarios does not matter, the man will be seen as an invasion and a perpetrator. I have personally experienced examples of neutral situations as well (going to the woman's bathroom as a man without negative reactions) but the general discourse about the topic is pretty clear.

Is there a rule that women aren't allowed to post there?

I do enjoy dull men's club

And any person could be a vile murderer paedo, but assuming everyone is and treating them that way would be unreasonable.

Oops, prejudice is still prejudice, even if it's targeted at the "right" people.

So? Any women could be evil to men as well. Should we therefore insult them by claiming they 'could' hurt us every time we encounter one?

It is a stereotype. I get being cautious. There are many awful men around. But keeping your distance from all of them until they have proven their innocence is not really a way to live.

"You could hurt me" is an insult. The amount of men who hurt women, is low. Its really fucking low. But for some reason, we all have to carry the water for that low number.

Its sexist. Its no different than if I said I didnt want to be alone with a woman because she might claim I raped her. How likely is that? Not very. And I say that as someone that it did happen to. The idea that men are an inherent risk, is sexist. And Im just sick of pretending its not.

I you cross the street from someone because they are black, we call that racist. But when its man, all of sudden the excuses come thick and fucking fast.

I don't really know if I agree with your comment or the one you're responding to. But here are my two cents: having good friendships with guys is difficult.

In middle-school (I'm European but using the American terms idk why) I had a number of good male friends but come highschool they all got addicted to drugs or video games and became a drag. I finally found friends in what one might call the "theater kids" group, which was exclusively female (there was a lot of stigma against these folks among guys and I burned a lot of bridges). The only close male friend I had left, I was only friends with through competitive sports and come 10th grade, it turns out he was a total toxic asshole (cheating on gf, racist, violent, etc; all developed over the course of maybe 4 months). So I end up having literally only female friends for the rest of highschool and much of college.

As a guy, that was kinda a bummer. It's good to have some friends or really anyone close to you of the same gender, and I was a nerdy guy growing up with a single mother and no male friends or role models whatsoever. Luckily that turned me into a radical progressive and feminist, mostly due to my mother's politics and hopefully common sense, and not a incel or neon-nazi.

This is just all to say that having a male support group is easier said then done. I don't know if it's because they really are losers—all the guys around me certainly felt like that—or because of social stigma against it. But teenage me definitely needed something like that when there wasn't anything to be found.

Ultimately I turned out fine though, hopefully. I wonder, though, if some of the guys I knew in highschool would have been less icky if there had been less social pressure to basically be a toxic ass. I don't know how to go about changing at least a century or social norms, but I think the people who got the worst of it were the guys I was friends with in middle-school, guys who were as smart and mature as my theater-group friends, but somehow pushed into toxic masculinity.

Ok, that's a bit much for two cents. Hopefully I didn't go on for two long... pretty bad pun, but I couldn't help myself :P