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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

When your post about a hard R gamer heated-gamer-moment spawns a struggle session ohnoes

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[-] Smeagolicious@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Just because some traits are exhibited by autistic people doesn’t mean that all people who do are autistic. The context can change whether we judge something as acceptable or not.

I am not going to try to a layperson diagnosis of Musk so I can’t say whether he’s on the spectrum or not, but he at least has demonstrated that he’s a cruel, abusive, emotionally manipulative, immature manchild. These are not traits that are intrinsic to autism, he’s genuinely just a shit human being on every level. Some traits do lead to autistic people having reactions with some similarities, but I don’t wanna just jump to the defense of Musk because a thing he’s done is similar to the behavior of an autistic person. There is potential for a ton of behavioral overlap between autistic people and allistic people, and for behaviors exhibited by people with a whole host of other causes.

I am on the spectrum and while I’m loathe to do the “I’m X and I don’t find Y offensive” thing I just don’t see it. Just stating my perspective, I’m genuinely sorry that this stuff has bothered you, but I am trying to seek understanding yknow?

[-] edge@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I am not going to try to a layperson diagnosis of Musk

He has literally said he's autistic.

but I am trying to seek understanding yknow

Have you never had your trust betrayed? Even for something small it can feel like absolute shit. It's literally about trouble regulating emotion, a very common autistic trait.

[-] Smeagolicious@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

I find it kind of worrying that you’re being more charitable to Elon Musk than someone who has stated outright that they’re trying to come to an understanding of your viewpoint.

You say as you're doing it.

Where I then say I am giving my perspective and this doesn’t make me inherently correct for being autistic. I’m explicitly stating that I’m not more correct or virtuous or something by stating my experience with autism and how it has influenced my own, personal perspective.

Have you never had your trust betrayed? Even for something small it can feel like absolute shit. It's literally about trouble regulating emotion, a very common autistic trait.

Oh yes I have, and I understand it on the small and large scale betrayals. I have had the course of my life inexorably altered by the personal betrayal and lies of people I thought were close friends, who were also autistic. They were autistic people, who also happened to be scumfucks that were emotionally manipulative liars.

Which seems like the case with Musk. He is a condemnable piece of shit, and I don’t think his behaviors can be solely attributed to being ND, because as demonstrated by plenty of people here and around the world, there are plenty of good supportive kind neurodivergent people who may exhibit the same traits of autism as Musk, but are not reprehensible shitheads like this billionaire apartheid profiteering scumbag.

[-] edge@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I never said his entire personality is attributed to autism. I'm talking about the specific behavior mentioned in this post. He didn't do anything manipulative or abusive here, he got mad then didn't talk to her for the rest of the day while he was still feeling that emotion.

trying to come to an understanding of your viewpoint.

Sorry. I just fixed my comment before seeing your reply.

[-] Smeagolicious@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

My point though is that he has demonstrated publicly a history of emotional manipulation and abuse and while it could be a reaction based on a sense of betrayal triggering a response as you posit, it could also be more manipulation and a way to excuse it by using the game

Maybe I’m completely off base here but I feel like he doesn’t warrant the full interrogation and depth of understanding we’re granting him here. I personally have experienced the sense of betrayal and emotional upheaval at the tiniest things before, and I have been with (actual) good friends who have done so as well. I am willing to come to an understanding with them so we can treat each other with respect and good will. I have no compulsion to do so for Musk 🤷

Also aside, I variety of responses you’ve gotten here doesn’t mean it’s only NT folks who disagree, and I don’t think we need to approach a disagreement with comrades in a space with a not insignificant proportion of ND people with hostility. Though I fuckin know how tiring it can be having to re-explain your thoughts multiple times, I don’t think the reaction is the best for fostering that understanding

[-] edge@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

it could also be more manipulation and a way to excuse it by using the game

Or it could be that the fact that it's coming from him is being used to excuse ableist behavior. You could swap in literally any other autistic person who would have reacted that way, and the ableism in this thread would still apply.

[-] Smeagolicious@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That’s literally why I’m talking about context though. We could substitute him for another neurodivergent person and there would be a different response because they’re most likely not a multibillionaire apartheid profiteering emotionally manipulative abusive scumbag. I’d be more likely to label these responses as ableist behavior if there weren’t also a history of other reasons why the incident might be Musk being shitty to his partner rather than him having an emotional reaction caused by his neurodivergence. He’s had multiple divorces & breakups for the exact reason of him being enormously shit to his partners.

[-] edge@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Having context doesn't mean all of his behavior is because he's an asshole billionaire. Most of it is sure, this isn't.

[-] Smeagolicious@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

I don’t see how you can claim that with authority when there is not insignificant behavioral overlap, especially when (presumably) you do not know the man.

[-] edge@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

If someone says your (general "you", not you "you") words make them uncomfortable, you should be understanding regardless. Like I said in the first comment, Elon Musk won't see any of these comments, but comrades who have had similar experiences will. Clearly it struck a nerve with me and some of the responses to me made it even worse. Stuff like this (and this has happened before) makes this site not feel like a safe space for me as an autistic person.

this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2023
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