this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2025
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[–] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 115 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

This page is one of the funniest I've seen in comics:

Here's the PDF if anyone wants it.

[–] Voroxpete@sh.itjust.works 125 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

The comic being fully committed to the idea that D&D teaches you actual magic spells that actually work in real life is fucking wild. Like, bro, this is supposed to be Christian propaganda but you're out here telling me that one small spell can get me $200 of D&D sourcebooks? Sign me the fuck up for Satan, this Jesus dude ain't shit.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 35 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

This is supposed to be Christian propaganda? So the fucked up comic by the same guy that one of the other comments is talking about is actually serious instead of being a story about how much Christianity sucks? That's seriously fucked up ...

[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 33 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Welcome to Chick tracts! Evangelicals like (or used to like, dunno if they still do) buying copies to leave in public bathrooms, on public benches, etc. Somehow this is supposed to ‘bring people to God’.

[–] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

My kids got one instead of candy for trick-or-treating one year.

[–] Demdaru@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

...wow...my whole country is full of satanists, cuz we mourn the dead - admittedly day after halloween, which are only recently slowly adding - instead of being festive.

And it's christian holiday soooo...lol

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 5 points 1 month ago

My parents unironically believe this. I'm fairly pissed, I love Halloween, and it is on my bday.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I find that one really funny because yeah as a pagan it is my most solemn holiday of the year, I light a candle for my dead loved ones and have a nice little chat with them hoping they can hear it somehow. You know, normal stuff people do to honor the dead.

ETA: It also marks the beginning of the season of death, where the days keep getting shorter, it keeps getting colder, and life rapidly winds down for the winter. It's a good time to reflect on endings and to remember that endings lead to new beginnings.

[–] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

That ritual is not on the pre-approved list. You must go through the proper channels. Your deviance has beed noted.

But in all seriousness, this is exactly how these reactionary evangelicals want to control people: take things that are perfectly normal human activities and put them exclusively under the purview of their own structures and hierarchies.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The after church crowd used to leave them instead of tips at my first restaurant

[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 17 points 1 month ago

Oof. At least it’s not the fake $20 bills, I guess? Real asshole move either way.

[–] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

I had one left on my door once, and in the most amazing time my gyno office had a huge random stack someone left and I took every single one.

Handed them all to friends to see the batshitness.

Guy use to go to conventions and hand them out.

[–] nickiwest@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Definitely still do.

[–] JennyLaFae@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 month ago

It's not actual propaganda per se, evangelicals in particular are trying to provoke a reaction they can try to litigate. It's a grift.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Jack chick was an insane evangelical Christian who genuinely didn't understand stuff like how he came off to non Christians

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Yeah but J-Dawg can get you endless fish and breadsticks for snacking while you play

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 37 points 1 month ago (2 children)

"Yo, you brought snacks? Awesome! What'd you bring?" "Fish sandwiches." "I... Um... Thanks, Jesus... Anything to drink?" "My blood."

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Dude's BAC is so high his blood is wine

Sounds like a good dinner to me

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Eh, not really a wine guy, personally.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Neither am I, I was just gonna drink some of the blood

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 1 points 1 month ago

Related XKCD What If - "Could you get drunk from drinking a drunk person's blood?"

[–] VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That one VTM player: "Your blood? Can I diablerize the son of God? And if so, does Jesus count as a 0th generation vampire, being an aspect of God, or a 1st generation vampire, being God's son and childe?"

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] FaceDeer@fedia.io 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The cleric version of a lich is a Mummy Lord.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Jesus is Mumm-Ra?

[–] thebardingreen@lemmy.starlightkel.xyz 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

"The blood of Christ reduces you to a pile of ash. No, there's no way to resist. Make a new character. Dumbass."

-Any decent storyteller in this situation.

[–] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 30 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

*terms and conditions may apply

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Imagine finding 5.000 fishes when you come home.

[–] nickiwest@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Yes, but the price of that temporary earthly magic is your immortal soul!

So, theoretically, it's not worth it.

[–] Archpawn@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

But you need the sourcebooks to learn the spell...

[–] logicbomb@lemmy.world 32 points 1 month ago (2 children)

All I get from that is that D&D gives you super powers, and the author of that comic is envious because they never got invited to play.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 4 points 1 month ago

Especially on a table with 3 women

[–] psud@aussie.zone 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

If role playing games gave you the powers of your character I'm torn between Palladium druid and d&d 3.5 druid

3.5 druid is winning due to its ability to cast reincarnate, and to craft contingent spells. The trick being to get to level 11 for the contingent spell feat in the modern world

The Palladium druid doesn't get to live forever but has better access to fewer spells

Also I live in a city built along ley lines which is good for the Palladium druid

Since it's all made up though and the games are so closely related I'm sure I can blend them and give the Palladium druid the d&d feats and spells

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

$200? What, she got like two books and shitty generic plastic figures? Big deal.

[–] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The inflation calculator that I found online says that's the equivalent today of about $600 compared to the mid 80s when this was written.

But yeah, that is underwhelming for having literal magic powers.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 4 points 1 month ago

She was just a lowly 8th level cleric

[–] psud@aussie.zone 2 points 1 month ago

She really should have learnt from the Jesus promoter how to be a cleric and raised her suicided friend from the dead. Perhaps she should have used her wiz powers first to get her dad to get her 1k gold worth of diamonds