Every 9/11 I make my kids stay home from school so we can go door to door singing 9/11 carols to curse the name of Mohamed Atta. The kids raise money by selling red, white and blue 9/11 wreaths to half-enthused/half-disturbed retirees. My wife likes to watch that classic holiday special, A Second Plane Has Struck the Towers Charlie Brown! while I prepare the roast goose (which symbolizes Flight 93). We pray to Jesus to look after the families of the victims, and then we pray to Nurgle to thank him for the anthrax attacks that helped ensure the passage of the Patriot Act to fight against terrorism. We end the day by burning our two 9/11 trees with a half kilo of thermite in the backyard. We had an incident last year where the fire got out of control and spread to our (non-observant) neighbor's shed, but that was a coincidence.

#neverforget