this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2025
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El Chisme

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[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 43 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

Free tater if you come dressed as a Nazi propaganda poster about the importance of making enough German kids to replace the Ostfront casualties

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 26 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Are you triggered by my masculinity potato? smuglord

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

4chan unironically re-boomerized gen Z.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago

This is so far beyond boomer that it's firmly Greatest Generation shit. They're describing something my relative born in the 1920s would clap like a seal for, but he also fought the Nazis so he wouldn't want to go to the Aryan Barrel for Lebensborn Night.

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

-families with 3 or more kids with both parents get 20% discount

let’s be real through, if they did this they would also push the waitstaff to conveniently “forget” to add the discount if the family wasn’t all white

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 20 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

the kids might be discount actors

[–] D61@hexbear.net 6 points 3 weeks ago

"Crisis customers" :kelly:

[–] BeanisBrain@hexbear.net 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Modernists

Damn, normally they complain about postmodernists. Now even modernism is too much for them. Give them a decade or two and they'll be railing against Aristotelianism.

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago

At least someone recognises that modernism is the real intellectual footing for the left. Whenever a reactionary calls me a postmodernist, it's on par with being called a liberal. As a modernist though I couldn't care less about Cracker Barrel and think this is an extremely postmodern culture war somewhere between the third and fourth stage of simulacra.

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 16 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Fiddle player on a Friday night

Like Cracker Barrel has the budget to hire out an army of string bands for all their locations every week.

[–] StillNoLeftLeft@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Fiddle player on a Friday night

My mind immediately went to the song "cold beer on a Friday night" and the cringe video, for some reason

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago

And a little bit of chicken fried air raid sirens

[–] VILenin@hexbear.net 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Don’t worry, Michael Thomas is addressing this issue by, uh, giving out huge discounts to make the budget even tighter

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago

Cracker Barrel customers getting free shit would be the worst tippers for musicians, too.

This just sounds like the worst fucking restaurant gig: low/no pay, the included meals sucks ass, and you can't even have a decent beer or two.

[–] VILenin@hexbear.net 15 points 3 weeks ago

Winning strategy for your failing business: cut prices significantly for large groups and triple the cost of operation

[–] LangleyDominos@hexbear.net 10 points 3 weeks ago

If I was made Cracker Barrel CEO I would simply turn the restaurant into Columbia from Bioshock Infinite.

[–] TreadOnMe@hexbear.net 4 points 3 weeks ago

I love posts like this because the rebrand was probably made by some conservative chucklefuck, who was like "if we get rid of the dude and the barrel, it will reduce printing costs".