Hello everyone~ The megathread is very eepy this week so I am being very quiet and not posting a whole essay as that might disturb their rest. The megathread does a lot of work for us after all, so they deserve to rest a little. Our regularly scheduled effortposts will continue next week.
Nonetheless, I hope that you (yes you!) are doing well, whenever it may be that you happen to be dropping in. I wish you all the best~
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As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
age, dysphoria
Preemptively bumming myself out because I'm gonna be way older than everyone else at school. I'm not a freshman girl. I'm gonna turn 30. I'll never have those formative experiences of being feminine.It would have been cool to learn feminine things from a feminine person. As it stands I feel like I'm teaching myself rune magic, or alchemy or some shit.
spoiler doom Part of me is like, what if we just wild out? It's not like anybody is going to say anything either way. I think I've given people a lot of time and space to step up, notice, hold space in the ways that make sense to me. I think I've been very quiet so others can speak comfortably. I think I've waited for people to turn to me and say "you're acting different. what's up?" or "is everything okay?" and they didn't.
All of this was me being accommodating. Presenting myself in a way that people could help but I wasn't forcing them to by weaponizing my mental illness or something shitty like that. I wanted people to want to help.
But maybe everyone had their chance to ask, you know? Maybe any behavior that makes you wonder is just not up for discussion in the way it once was. Maybe there was a time that my habits were more malleable, but oh, you just missed it. Maybe. :::
spoiler
Not as old as you, but it does suck, all that time lost. In my case, never getting to be a young woman and all the things I missed.One thing that does work in your favor, because people expect you to be younger in college they probably won't think you're 30. I work a young people job and everyone just assumes I'm 5~ years younger then I am. So I'm guessing they'll assume you're at least a few years younger.
This is pretty rare ime, unless you have a close relationship. Even then though most of my friends don't.