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Imagine being afraid of the ‘friend zone’ (hexbear.net)

submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by Lussy@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

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Oh no, my miserable life that’s devoid of any connection and anyone altogether otherwise *at least contains a friend.

What the fuck man, is this a real concern average people have that I’m way too fucking alienated to understand

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[-] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 25 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I've come to understand the "friend zone" as a place where a person puts himself by being too spineless to either ask out the person in question and make their feelings clear, or resolve them internally on their own time and make peace with not pursuing them and keeping them as a friend. It's a painful cognitive dissonance that is brought entirely upon oneself. The proper way out is growth, but many just rage at it and refuse to change themselves.

[-] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 10 points 11 months ago

I relate to this. But I think generally the term is used to mean when you ask the person to take the relationship to something more than friends, but they'd rather stay friends. We should come up for a name for what you say, the self-imposed friend zone?

[-] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 14 points 11 months ago

I would say it's still the same spot, because at that point the feelings have been resolved on one end, and it's your responsibility to deal with yours. If you're okay with staying friends, that's fine. If the rejection is too painful and you need some space, just let them know in a respectful way and take time to handle your emotions.

Either way it's a state of mind.