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What will always be cringe-inducing to you?
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As someone who is queer and knows queer people who use the word queer to identify themselves, many people use it as a form of shorthand to mean some variety of LGBTQ without going into more detail.
Yeah, I know all about it. I live near portland, we are generally very inclusive. My kid was explaining just some of the many categories to me the other day. It's a lot for an old brain to adjust to. And I am terrible at remembering peoples names. I may never be able to keep the categories connected to the people. Lol.
An easy shorthand is to treat it like the word female. "A queer" and "queers" is offensive, "queer people" is not.