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this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2024
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Thankfully, my wife and I were both open to seeing single parents. Now we are married parents with more kids than we started with!
If you mean as a person without kids, I have a tip: YOU SHOULD NOT BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE KID.
That's not too say that you aren't special or important, it's just that the kid(s) are children that rely on their parent to exist. That's a big responsibility, and it needs to be respected. You're a grown ass adult and you can take care of yourself. If you can't deal with your partner not restructuring their whole life around you, then stay away from people with kids.
You don't need to shift your own priorities and make their child your number one, (maybe if things go well in the long term, that will happen on its own) but, if you go out of your way to at least be friends with the kids, or learn a little bit about them, that's going to score a TON of points with the parent.
This was a big deal when I started dating my current girlfriend. On quite a few occasions when planning dates or things for us to do with her daughter, I would bring up her daughter and think of her first before I thought of myself or my girlfriend. Or if my girlfriend would mention something about her daughter, I would always encourage her to take care of her daughter first and we could work out dates around her.
I knew that her daughter was her first priority, and I never asked her to put me before her daughter. Not once. It's almost 3 years later, they moved in with me. And I'm loving the life together.