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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/DifferenceNice3636 on 2023-07-27 15:41:01+00:00.

We moved to our current neighborhood a few years ago. Our next door neighbors had some issues with an overloaded driveway and a derelict vehicle, but it was just a quirk that we were totally willing to overlook. Our neighborhood is comfy, but far from high-end. It's also more important to us to maintain good relationships in our neighborhood than nitpick about our neighbors' properties.

Our neighbors are kind people. They are a young family with a little one and a second one on the way. We also learned that the husband has ADHD which leads him to taking on a lot of projects he doesn’t finish. He has acknowledged that his front yard doesn’t look great and says he is working on cleaning it up.

Over the past year the problem has gotten much worse. He has moved numerous things out of his garage a on to the driveway – tool boxes, appliances, non-working vehicles, a makeshift work bench, and other trash. He said he was rearranging things to make a man cave in his garage. It has encroached over the sidewalk and even into the street. It has been like this for a year. Due to the trash in his driveway, they park in the middle of our court and so do their guests. Although we can usually find a way to drive around them, they often block parts of our driveway.

We have considered being diplomatic and asking them to clean the situation up. While we don't believe it's fully our business what they do with their property, it's clear that, besides being unattractive to look at, it is also impacting our parking situation. However, we are concerned that because it has gotten so far out of hand, and he is often so scattered that he may not take it seriously and likely won’t clean up the yard.

WIBTA for not talking to him first and wanting to call the city anonymously? I feel like a citation from the city would help motivate him to clean it up for real. Yet I also don’t want to give this young family a bunch of fines when they are struggling. I feel like I'd be an asshole for not talking to him first, but if diplomacy fails, then there's no way we could get the city involved without them knowing it was us and ruining our relationship with him and potentially others in our court. I've also considered talking to other neighbors to see if we might be able to approach him together, but if they aren't on board, we could be outted if we ever try to take anonymous action.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/brunetti3 on 2023-07-27 15:38:54+00:00.

My husband (34m) and I (31f) have been together for 11 years, married for 8. Weve always been opposites. My husband likes to play video games and 4x a month he goes to these meetings where they sit around and eat and talk about politics/current events etc. We have 2 kids, 4 and 5 years old. We both work full time

I am the only one who does the errands and cleans and does laundry etc. (My moms lives with us and does help some) He won't help because he makes more money than I do so he says it's on me. This is a topic of contention and would be something for another post.

A few weeks ago we got into it. He was saying how I make no effort to do things with him and he's made every effort possible and now it's up to me to fix it because he can't any more. I don't really have any hobbies. After work I cook dinner, bathe the kids and get them ready for bed. We both put them to bed (usually) and then I shower and watch a little TV before bed. He used to occasionally lay on the couch with me as I watched TV. Paying attention every so often, but mostly on his phone. This is what hes referring to when he says he's tried. Because he "partakes in my hobbies" he stopped sitting with me during my shows a long time ago because I don't go to his hobbies.

We were in therapy last year and this was brought up. She suggested we find something new to do together that we'd both like. I brainstormed a list. We agreed on doing a weekly home date night where we'd watch a show we both liked and make a different adult beverage each time. We did this for a couple months then it stopped. It recently came out that he never enjoyed doing that.

I researched some video games we could play as a couple and bought 1. We've played it 3x. He has no interest in it. Video games in general give me motion sickness and I can only play so long before I am nauseated and have to stop. He knows this but says I have to power through it and eventually it won't affect. Currently he's playing 1 video game almost exclusively that is on the computer. In order for me to play, id have to have my own gaming computer which he says is over $1k. He said he'd buy it for me but I know when I inevitably don't play that often, he'd be mad that he wasted that money.

The meet ups he goes to are during the week after work. If I went, we'd have to hire a sitter. Sometimes he gets home from this after midnight. I can't get home that late then be up early for work the next day. I am introverted and being in a big group of people who are discussing things I'm not interested sounds awful to me. I know if I went I'd not talk much and he has said that if I went and didn't talk much he'd be angry. So that makes me want to go even less because then it'd be an argument after.

I'm not sure what to do. AITA for not doing his hobbies? I feel like I'm drowning already with work, the kids and house stuff so trying to add more to that just doesn't seem possible.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/HotWall1967 on 2023-07-27 15:27:05+00:00.

I don’t want to give too much away since she has reddit, but we work in a food service establishment, all the employees work with the food in the back, and then hand it to the customers at the front counter.

My coworker can’t find a babysitter/daycare 9/10 of the time, so she takes her kids to work and keeps them in the back. They’re really hyperactive kids so she brings a portable crib and an iPad to keep them occupied. Well, the 4 year old already knows how to climb in and out when he gets bored, and keeps running around the establishment barefoot and bothering customers, her 1 year old always tries to do like his brother and constantly climbs out only to fall face down on the floor.

My coworker uses her phone a lot, so she constantly goes outside for a 15-30 minute period to talk on the phone. This is when she tells me to watch her kids while she is out. Usually I have no problem doing so if the store is empty, since I’m usually in the back anyways. But when we’re in rush hour and she does this, it’s literally impossible for me to do so.

Yesterday this happened. She went outside to talk to her boyfriend, and left me with her kids, asking me to watch them. But as soon as she left a family of 5 came in, so I told the kids to stay calm and set them up with a YouTube video while I took their orders.

As I’m taking their order I hear a loud thump, a second later I hear a scream from the smaller child, I apologize to the family and excuse myself, when I go check on the kids, the baby is again on the floor on his stomach, staring at me crying.

I check that he is okay, he is, and pick him up and finish taking the order with him on the side of my hip.

Right then my coworker walks in and asks what happened, I tell her. She tells me how she asked me to watch them.

Then a customer chimes in, saying the thought the kid was mine. I said no and then she tells my coworker that it’s not my responsibility to watch her kid since that’s not the job I’m getting paid for. My coworker gets her kid and goes to the back.

After a while the store emptied again and my coworker started talking about how rude the lady was, and how it’s just a favor I’m doing for her.

I said “she’s right though” and before I could even blink I was getting called all sorts of names.

Now she complained about me to our boss and I’m being lectured about team work and empathy. I just simply don’t understand when this one time favor turned into part of my job description, so AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Wailmore on 2023-07-27 15:26:24+00:00.

I work in customer service (M19). I was working a closing shift with one of my co-workers, and wasn’t having a good shift. I was making a bunch of small mistakes, things weren’t getting done when I needed them to be because there were so many customers and it was only the two of us (My co-worker had other things to do, so absolutely no blame towards them), and I even had something fall on top of me. All of this combined made me pretty frustrated at myself, but to make matters worse, my co-worker was also being snappy with me that day which just added to my frustration.

We’re about 10 minutes from closing, I have a headache from all the frustration, and my co-worker is still harping on me. I ask her to leave me alone for a bit so that I can cool off my frustration. I didn’t yell, I didn’t insult or spread any blame to them, all I did was ask, and even offered to chat about it later, because I knew we probably were going to anyways. They accept and I take care of everything else that needed to be done. Later, my co-worker decides to take the exact opposite approach I did and starts yelling at me. I politely tried to explain how I was feeling, but they cut me off and got even angrier. Turns out they was also in a bad mood because they’re also a cop (I knew this in advance) and were investigating a fatal car accident that happened in town (Did not know they were part of the investigation).

I know that it probably wasn’t the best choice for me to ask them to leave me alone, but I feel like I handled the situation quite maturely given the decision I chose. But I feel also feel really bad about not being more tolerant after finding out they were dealing with so much at the time, even if I didn’t blame them for anything. Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/UnAcceptable_Hotel_5 on 2023-07-27 15:25:23+00:00.

TLDR: Found out my daughter wasn't mine. Wife makes jokes, and gossips Don't trust her now and don't want to discuss personal issues with her.

I am on my second marriage and came to this relationship with a daughter. Be have been together 8 years.

Had previously done a 23&Me DNA test as I was adopted, and had always wanted to find the biological fam. Which I did, and that is a whole other story.

My wife, her daughter, and my daughter thought 23&me looked fun and wanted to do it as well. Last Xmas, 23&Me was a present from me to them.

Results. Well my daughters results came back and I was not a relative. Initially I thought there must be some mistake. I asked my wife, what if she really isn't my daughter? Her response was, " that would be hilarious." I was honestly a little taken back, and hurt by that response. I let her know that it was not a funny situation for me, and didn't appreciate it. I thought she understood, and got over it.

Fast forward a couple of weeks and the reality is setting in the she is actually not my biological daughter, and begin trying to figure out who the Father was. I mentioned a possibility that it could have been my best friend at the time. I was again net with a, that would be hilarious comment, or something along those lines. Honestly can't believe this was her response, again. This time I was visibility upset, and left for a bit to cool off.

Then I find out that she was at her daughter's game, sitting with her ex, ( which is fine BTW) telling him about my current issues. Thus time I was really upset. I told her it was not her place to disclose my personal drama with anyone let alone her ex husband. She still sees no issue in what she did. Additionally she has told everyone from her friends and family to her co workers. I understand that this is big news and she probably needed someone to talk to as well. But it seemed to me just to be a gossip fest for her.

This issue greatly reduced my trust in her. To the point I don't really want to talk about anything of importance to her, especially the current paternity issues. She has picked up on this and is mad. "How can we have a healthy relationship when you won't talk to me?" I explained that she has hurt me and broken my trust and I would rather just keep this to myself and work through it. This is now all my fault, and am a poor communicator.

AITA because I don't want to talk about this issue, or any other personal, important issues with her as I don't trust her?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/livinglife5599 on 2023-07-27 15:25:21+00:00.

AITA for Buying My Dress Before the Mother of the Bride?

Hi everyone, I'm writing this post on behalf of my mom, who isn't on Reddit. She wants to know if she's the asshole in this situation, so here goes. My brother and his fiancée are getting married in November, and my mom, as the mother of the groom, recently went ahead and purchased her dress for the wedding. Being a plus-size lady, finding something off the rack wasn't the best option for her. She visited a bridal shop, picked out a dress she liked, and ordered it.

However, there's a twist. The expected delivery date for the dress was November 10th, which is after the wedding. In order to have enough time for alterations, my mom paid to have the dress expedited, ensuring it would arrive in September instead. Seems reasonable, right? Well, here's the issue. My soon-to-be sister-in-law, who is the sweetest person, expressed to my brother that she's highly offended by the fact that our mom "broke tradition" and bought her dress before the mother of the bride. Apparently, her mom plans on buying a dress off the rack just a month before the wedding, which means if my mom had waited until then, her dress wouldn't have arrived in time.

To add more context, it's important to note that the mother of the bride acted similarly at her own son's wedding last year. She purchased her dress just a couple of weeks before the wedding, suggesting that she might have the same plan for this wedding. So, Is my mom the asshole in this situation? Should she have waited for the mother of the bride to buy her dress first, even though it would have meant risking late delivery and not having enough time for alterations?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/izaknuton on 2023-07-27 15:24:11+00:00.

I'm moving next month and have asked my friends if they'd be willing to help me move in exchange for me doing the same.

One friend said that wasn't a fair deal because they have way less stuff. He lives in a one bedroom and I live in a two bedroom but I'm only moving my things which are going into a one bedroom. I may have more things but they're definitely comparable.

I also mentioned I have more helpers so it wouldn't just be us moving things and he just replied "I'll think about it".

I'm upset because I've always volunteered to help him and I thought he'd be willing to do the same especially since I was offering my help, not just asking for free labor. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/lionprincesslioness on 2023-07-27 15:23:22+00:00.

My (40m) boyfriend told me that he was planning to get new 2024 Subaru Outback since he is not very fond that his 2011 Nissan Rogue takes up a lot of gasoline. After some research yesterday, the 2024 Subaru Outback he is looking at is looking to be $35,000 dollars.

I also want to add that my boyfriend only works part time (10 AM to 2 PM) Mon-Fri. His job doesn't offer full time, but he loves his job so much he doesn't want to leave, but with this being said, his paychecks tend to be low compared to people with full time jobs.

I was happy that he was looking to finally get rid of that 2011 Nissan Rogue. As a girlfriend who cares about him, I was asking what his plan was to pay off the $35,000-dollar 2024 Subaru Outback. He told me "Oh, my dad is going to buy it for me 100% paid off".

I thought that was cool, but I proceeded that conversation with the question "Are you planning to pay him back"? He replied with "No. He's just going buy it for me. I don't owe him anything at all."

I was a little bit stunned. My parents never spend $35,000 dollars on a car for me without expecting me to pay them back. Admittingly, I was jealous when he told me this. His dad is a retired lawyer, so he DOES have a lot of money.

Sarcastically I said "Wow, you're totally not spoiled at all." Based on the silence, I think I offended him with that comment. He changed the topic completely and we stopped discussing the new vehicle after I said this. I feel bad.

AITA or is it "factual" that his dad spoiled him for planning to pay off this brand new car completely without my boyfriend paying a single penny?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/LowerPossibility3324 on 2023-07-27 12:19:22+00:00.

My son Keith 16 was bullied when he was a kid, it was bad and the school sucked. It only stopped when she left the school. We live in a pretty small town and everyone kinda looks the same, super tan brown hair or blonde. The bully use to dye their hair fun colors like purple and pink. That’s not really a thing here since it’s considered improper ( think small old town, judgy grandmas)

He went to therapy for a long time and we all thought he was good, now his older brother went to college and he has a gf named Cindy. She is a sweetheart but her hair is dyed pink. She is slim built also and she looks kinda like the old bully due to the hair but it is clearly a different person.

My son can not deal with it, we insisted he goes back to therapy but he skips the lesson or just doesn’t talk about. He treat Cindy like a leper.

The final straw today was an small get together barbecue and Cindy came. She asked if anyone wanted a drink, we gave her our orders and when she asked Keith he ignored her, she rolled her eyes and went to get everyone a drink. She came back and Keith made a comment of her being too good to get him a drink also. She replied with excuse me and he repeated and called her a skank.

I grabbed him and pulled him aside, and basically told him to get over it, that’s she isn’t his bully and this is pathetic. I apologize to Cindy and told him to go home.

He told our family that I chose her over him and he is very clear he thinks I am an asshole. My husband told me to post of this website.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ProfessionalOlive684 on 2023-07-26 19:50:48+00:00.

My daughters Kate(16F) and Bella(16F) both had their 16th birthday this summer and their parties were different. By January, Kate had managed to get into 2 fights a school and got herself entangled into a bunch of drama. Bella was her partner in crime and had gotten into one fight and gotten suspended for cheating.

I was sick of their antics and told them that they needed to get their acts together. I told them they were to stay away from boys for a while and focus their energy into something productive. I said that for every infraction, I would be taking some money out of their sweet 16 budget. Bella had been planning her 16th birthday since she turned 15. She took my threat seriously and improved her grades significantly and started hanging out with better friends. She lost some money from her party, but she was able to put in some of her own money to cover the difference. Kate on the other hand didn't listen to me at all. I explained why she was losing money for every dollar that I deducted. Eventually her budget was down to about a 10th of what Bella was getting.

We go to plan the parties and Bella gets her dream party. We only had enough money to throw a small get together with around 15 people at our house for Kate's party. Kate was in tears when she found out this was her party. Kate's party was still really good. We got an expensive cake, we connected her phone to our expensive sound system, we had a lot of decorations and everything set up. It just wasn't as glamorous or big as Bella's party.

After the parties were done, one of the parents posted pictures of both parties with a caption that read "not hard to see who is the favorite". I told the person to take their post down and to mind their own business. AITA for giving Bella a worse party?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Suck_myCat69 on 2023-07-26 16:48:52+00:00.

My family stationed to Hawaii due to military. My husbands family also lives here. Prior to moving here, we sent our kids to the island to live with their aunt(his sister) because childcare was hard to find to the point I almost got let go from my job. They stayed about a year. When my husband and I finally flew in we learned quickly that the kids had severe head lice. I could tell treatment to rid it was neglected. I was mad since at that time I was pregnant with our 4th child and feared the baby would catch it. I held my tongue and just did what I could to get rid of it. Fast forward and we let his sisters kids stay with us for a week. Maybe about 1-2 weeks later I started to notice bumps on the kids bodies. Didn’t think much of this until I woke one morning and found what I thought to be a tick in my hair. I mentioned it to my husband and he nonchalantly says ‘oh I think we have bed bugs’. Like wtf?! I started checking our bed and lo and behold I find two fat bugs hidden in the seams of our mattress. When I check the kids rooms it’s even worse. I lost it at that point. I told him I don’t want our kids staying there, I don’t want them coming here, and that he needs to tell his sister. He gets mad at me because he says I’m talking ‘shit’ about her. Exterminator comes today and it’s looking to be over $1000 for the house. I might have to throw away furniture we haven’t had for a year yet. I don’t think I’m overreacting. She might be content living with lice, roaches, and bed bugs but I’m not. And this affects our children. What am I missing?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Abandoned4 on 2023-07-26 15:52:04+00:00.

My kids and I went to the movies yesterday while my wife was working. My oldest is seventeen. He, his ten year old brother and I wanted to watch Oppenheimer. My daughter and my youngest son wanted to watch Barbie. I really didn't want to watch Barbie, but since my daughter is thirteen, I really couldn't in good conscious leave her in charge of a four year old, even just for the length of the movie.

I asked my seventeen year old how much the going rate was for babysitting. He said at the moment, $50 + snacks. So I gave him $50 to take his siblings to Barbie, and the ten year old and I watched Oppenheimer. Turns out Oppenheimer is an hour longer than Barbie, so when their movie ended, my son called my wife to come pick them up.

When I got home, she was pissed at me. She said she couldn't believe I fobbed off two of our kids on our oldest so I could watch what I wanted to watch. I pointed out that I paid him, and she said the fact I think that makes a difference shows there's something wrong with me. I said we would have been watching different movies regardless, the only difference is who got which movie, and he set his price. She doesn't care and said I'm a huge asshole. She said I should have just watched Barbie with our daughter, and it would have made her happy. She didn't care though! Am I crazy and an asshole, or did I do nothing wrong?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/fireytrashcan on 2023-07-27 13:52:27+00:00.

For starters, my sister (32F with 1 toddler and pregnant) and I (26F single and no kids) are not close whatsoever. She has a large indifference towards me and I’ve returned the same. Last summer, she asked me to watch her dogs and cats at her house for a combination of three weeks. My house is about 5 minutes from my workplace. However, at her residence, it’s about a 30 min drive commute one way. Last year, I watched her animals for two weeks and she didn’t pay me anything, nor did she offer. My thoughts at the time were - whatever - I was in school online/unemployed and I didn’t have to leave her place for anything necessary.

Well, this year I’ve had a job. And gas prices have rose considerably. As mentioned previously, her house is 30 mins away vs my 5 mins away from where I work full time. She knows this. Neither last year nor this year when I’ve house sat/watched her animals for her has she reimbursed me nor has she made an offer to do so. Also she came back from her vacation she walked right past me and didn’t say a word to me nor looked at me. She treated me like I didn’t exist.

Am I the asshole for being irritated that she didn’t at least make an offer to pay me while also completely ignoring my existence after helping her? I feel like my sister (while she is barely a sister at all) has taken advantage of me and I’ve been pretty irritated to say the least. Personally… regardless of who had to watch my animals and the distance, I would’ve at least offered. Hell, my best friend paid me $150 for watching her dog for two days last year, however I returned her money fully.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Beautiful_Record_782 on 2023-07-27 13:47:51+00:00.

There's an upcoming festival that I wanted to go to, but believed the ticket is quite expensive. However, as luck as it, a friend of mine won a giveaway and received a couple tickets for free. He decided to give me one and I could not be happier. I repeat, for free. He won them for free and gave them to us for free.

Now, I have a girlfriend and this guy didn't give her an invite too as they're not that close. She wasn't ok with me going without her so after a brief fight she decided to buy a ticket to come with us. But as I said, it was quite expensive. Imagine you would have to pay 800$ for a ticket adding the cost of transport, accommodation and food.

Besides the ticket, everyone would share the costs, but since we had the tickets for free, girlfriend had to buy her own. She firstly tried to make us all chime in, but everyone natural refused. She then told me I should cover half the ticket cost, but I didn't think it's fair. Having to pay 400$ when I could go for free? I understand it's a heavy lift on her, but these are the facts. I didn't ask the guy to invite me and couldn't argue about inviting my GF too. I wish to go with her, of course, but it is what it is.

I explained this to her and told her that 400$ is a considerable amount for me and she called me an unsupportive AH. I sort of understand her frustration, but I think she overreacted. We're not kids anymore and we can't always have everything as easy as the others.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/breadstick_bitch on 2023-07-27 13:31:22+00:00.

I (24F) was a bridesmaid in my sister's (28F) wedding this week, and it was not without its drama. The drama directly between the two of us started at the rehearsal when she told me her plans for my bouquet. She wanted me to take my necklace off and pin it around the stems, then display the bouquet at her reception, out of my sight. I was visibly uncomfortable with this and started tearing up, and I could tell that she was annoyed.

My necklace is a glass bead that was blown using our brother's ashes and his cremation tag. He died unexpectedly a few years ago and afterwards my mom, sister and I each had matching necklaces made. She rarely wears hers but mine is a fixture on my body; I haven't taken it off since we received them. My brother was the person I was closest to in the world; he was severely autistic and I was his "person" for everything. He and my sister were never very close.

The interaction we had was at the very end of her rehearsal before all of the goodbyes, and right after my sister left I started crying and told my mom how uncomfortable I would be not wearing my necklace. She was in agreement with me and also felt uncomfortable taking hers off.

The morning of her wedding, my sister gave my mom and I each charms with my brother's initials that she wanted us to add to our bouquets. She didn't address the necklaces any further until we were literally walking out of the bridal salon to go down the aisle; she told my mom and I that we had to take off our necklaces and put them on the bouquets. I told my sister that I didn't want to take it off, and she told me that the tag is "ugly" and that I needed to put the necklace on the bouquet.

The wedding coordinator stepped in and told me that I needed to take my necklace off now, and I responded with "It's my brother's ashes, I'm not taking it off." My mom immediately jumped in on my side and said that I wouldn't be taking it off, but that I could turn it around and hide it under my hair. We were pushed out the door so it ended at that. I left the tag and bead hidden behind my hair for the pictures as well and only flipped it back when we sat down for dinner.

My sister didn't interact with me at all for the rest of the day, and hasn't spoken with either of us since the wedding. My mom is on my side, but I'm not sure if I took a wrong step here. AITA?

Other info:

•My mom paid for the entire wedding •My sister knows that my mom and I don't ever take off our necklaces •There was another bridesmaid, so it's not like the bouquets needed the necklace to match •My mom did wrap hers on her bouquet, and someone working the wedding misplaced it. (They found it later!)

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Roasted-question on 2023-07-27 13:23:22+00:00.

Anonymous Account: My best friend got engaged last year and they are doing an international wedding so they were very on top of it with securing a wedding date and sending out the save the dates. I received mine a couple of months ago and accepted being a groomsman about a month ago. I’m super stoked to be there for there for him and the wedding will also be a vacation for my fiancé and I.

My little brother also got engaged last year and they have been planning a wedding but not sharing many details with family. My mom, my aunt, and myself told him multiple times that I would be unavailable the weekend of my best friends wedding. To not leave any confusion he was told the exact date multiple times. Well we all recently got the save the date cards from my little brother and it’s the same date as my best friends wedding. When my mom opened up the card in front of him her heart dropped and she said “what about your brother” to which he replied “oh he will figure it out”.

Turns out he never told his fiancé about this date so she has been planning without knowing this. Now he is claiming that he forgot about multiple people telling him multiple times and is pushing the line that since he is family I should bail on the other wedding and go to his. I tried to look into even making both work because I genuinely want to be at my brother’s wedding. I’m not not going out of spite or because I have a random trip, concert tickets, or it’s someone’s wedding I’m just going to. This is my best friends wedding that I’ve known for over 25 years. When I told my brother I couldn’t make it he gave me the line of “but I’m your brother” which really sucked to hear. If I could be at both I would be and I’m sure he is sad but I just can’t be there.

This has caused more drama in the family than I want. His future FIL called my mom and said that I should skip my friends wedding and go to the family wedding because family comes first. My mom, myself, and my aunt all disagree. He was told multiple times by multiple people and whether it’s because he messed up by not telling his fiancé or that he forgot it apparently was not important enough to him to have me there so he picked one of the two weekends all next year I said I couldn’t be at. The family wants him to change the date of the wedding and I have told him to just go through with it and have a great wedding and that I’m sorry I can’t be there. So AITA for keeping a commitment to my best friend and not wavering on it because of a family members disregard?

Edit: Wanted to clarify something after someone asked for info. We did not directly tell his fiancé. She is generally a recluse and hasn’t been communicating with myself, my mom, or my aunt about the wedding just doing her own thing. We just assumed my brother would tell her. Now in hindsight we should’ve just told her.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Intelagent9r7 on 2023-07-27 13:17:40+00:00.

This is my first post on here so please forgive me for any mistakes, basiclly, there was this girl that chatted me. We hit it off but around Feb I found out some not so good things about her. I did think about it but I realized how much of a red flag she was so I decided to just avoid her. Apparently during this she got into a spiral of not being able to move on. This girl was not giving up even when I showed alot of signs. She even ended up blocking me only to unblock me for 'not being able to handle it'. She started chatting some of my friends but I asked them all to please dont give away info. Here comes the main topic, one of my friends, lets call him Ben, we have been friends for about 3 years now, she started to contact Ben about me and he was updating her. When I found out I told Ben about the issue and to please stop updating her, he agreed and apologized. Not gonna lie I probobly told him too much about the reason I didnt want him updating her, but Ben still took screenshots of what I told him and sent it to her. This obviously made things way worse with her. I ended up confronting him about it but he didnt admit it. I ended up distancing myself from him online and in person but I dont think he got the hit. Since he was still updating her I ended up telling his mom and thankfully, she snapped him out of it. He did apologize to me and told me to 'Please dont tell my mom next time' but in all honesty, how was I going to be sure he wouldnt screenshot what I told him and send it to her. Me and Ben are on good terms but its not the same as before. I was honestly really hurt cause I felt like he chose a girl he barely knew over me. Keep in mind we are still in highschool. What are your thoughts on this? Would love to read them. Thank you!

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/mykaden on 2023-07-27 13:15:46+00:00.

My partner, I, and my wider family were going on holiday to a campsite a about two hundred miles away. We planned en-route to stop at a pub to get some lunch. We met at the wider family at the pub and were going to sit at one big table and share a meal. We rarely spend time together in this way.

There were four car-loads of different parts of the family all going to the same holiday destination. The problem is, my favourite meal at the pub (a chain pub that has roughly the same meals across the country) and one that I had been looking forward to, had crisps (potato chips in most other places) as part of the meal I really wanted: wraps. I am a fussy eater and little else on the menu appealed to me.

I love the wraps at this place and I love the crisps that comes with the wraps. The wrap isn't that big and to get my money's worth, and to ensure I was full, I wanted to eat both the wrap and the crisps. I didn't want to waste part of the meal by not having the crisps.

Now for the problem: My sister and her husband had also arranged to meet us at the pub. They too were travelling to the campsite. But her husband has a serious aversion to crisps. We don't know why, but we suspect something happened when he was at school, possibly involving a bullying incident and crisps. But we don't nkow. He has never told us why he can't be around them. He refuses to explain.

He seriously struggles to be around crisps. The noise, smell or sight of them has him freaking out. In the shops he can't even walk down the crisp aisle. Because of my aforementioned hunger and not wanting to waste food, I decided that, with her agreement, myself and my wife would go and eat at a table away from the rest of the family, so as to avoid my brother in law freaking out about the crisps. I had then planned to rejoin the family at their table afterwards. We did this.

Afterwards I was castiagted by almost everyone for being antisocial and selfish and some told me they'd never go on holiday with me again because of my actions. They said I should have chose another meal option or just ordered the wrap without crisps.

AITA for wanting to not waste part of my meal and forego the crisps option when I knew my brother in law has some very big issues with them?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/LegitimateArrival263 on 2023-07-27 13:14:55+00:00.

My husband (35m) works for an IT company and he works from home. It's a pretty flexible job and he has a lot of free time. He bills for 8 hours but he's told me that he finishes his workload by 11am most days. His boss and team love him and have been pretty good with his workload. He makes a little bit over $120k and apparently is slated for a raise every year. However last year (his second year at the company) he did not get a raise and when I asked him about it he said he's not sure why. A few months go by and I asked about it again and he said he's too awkward asking for it.. and that he never really bothered because he feels like an imposter and felt guilty approaching it. He finally bit the bullet and asked and he ended up getting a 10k raise.. if asked a year ago (when he was entitled to it) we could have been getting $900 more per month that could have gone to savings/retirement/home renos etc.

This made me really frustrated! I do all the financial planning, savings accounts, health insurance, and retirement accounts. Before I started my new job I spent weeks going over my new contract with a lawyer and I made sure to ask exactly how bonuses, raises, and paid leave are all structured. Yet my husband just signed his contract in an afternoon. In fact he jokingly tells me that he asked for a certain amount without researching what his position makes and they had to tell him that it was low and gave him a higher billing pay.

I told him that it's frustrating that I try to so hard to make sure I get everything in writing and paid properly and he's just blase about it. He said that it's different since I am in medicine at a large hospital and he's in an IT company where everyone is chill. His boss has been a great mentor to him and gave him many opportunities. We have a toddler boy and my husband has been the primary caretaker for him and his boss has been understanding and given him the flexibility for doctor's appointments, childcare etc as needed and that's why he felt awkward asking for it. But the thing is that his boss isn't paying him.. his boss is just his manager and the salary structure is set much higher than him. I got upset and told him that if he asked earlier he could have gotten another raise in a few months but he thinks he gets paid too much already. He said that he kinda worries that they'll let him go if he gets too expensive.. but they're a large company with a lot of projects coming to him.

AITA for being frustrated with him and telling him that I don't trust him when it comes to managing money? He lashed out saying that he takes care of everything at home including meal prepping and taking care of a toddler and that I'm being too hard on him for this one thing.. but it's kind of a big thing no?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/aitah-throwaway234 on 2023-07-27 13:13:55+00:00.

My son “Colin” recently turned 20. He's my youngest kid, I have two older kids from an ex-wife (they're 32 and 35, respectively). He's been doing some catching up with them and I guess they've been telling him stuff about what they did during their childhood/teen years.

I took him out for beers the other day and out of the blue he starts complaining that I'm some type of dickhead for homeschooling him. That compared to his older siblings his childhood was shit and that thanks to me he has no friends and no social circle. It is true that I sent his older siblings to a private catholic school (I'm not religious but I do think there are higher standards of education there), but that's because I could afford it then. Times had changed by the time I had Colin.

I don't get what he's complaining about. He always seemed so happy as a kid. It's not like he was stuck inside all day either, we played sports and stuff like that. He had way more free time than regular kids, and he got a way better education, too (my wife is a certified teacher). I understand maybe he should've been around more other kids but all he had to do was ask and I would've arranged it in a heartbeat. But he always seemed happy, like I said.

I told him he needs to stop comparing himself to other people and just be grateful for the wonderful life he's had the opportunity to live. He got all sarcastic and moody, said his life was/is horrible and there's nothing to look forward to.

He wanted me to “admit” the homeschooling was a bad idea. But in my heart of hearts I know it was the right thing to do so I couldn't agree with him. He got really drunk and weirdly silent, and has been in a funk for the past few days, very unlike his normal self.

I get that he's upset with me, but I don't think I should lie and say I agree with him about the homeschooling when I actually don't. AITA for not backing down?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/NoRegret6013 on 2023-07-27 13:08:20+00:00.

I’m pretty sure I already know who’s the asshole but…My (20f) boyfriend (21m) have been together for 4 years. We broke up last year for a few months since we are so young and haven’t experienced much outside of our relationship, however this brought us closer together. We worked through most of our issues, except for where we want to attend church. Faith is important to both of us, I was born and raised catholic and he was born and raised nondenominational. While I don’t think the Catholic Church is the church for me, it’s a huge part of my family’s life. My bf has never been a fan of the Catholic Church, which I understand but he has no respect for my family’s s beliefs. We both agreed that we would leave our family’s churches and find one that suits us better however, I still at times go with his family to church but he refuses to have anything to do with my family’s faith. My family isn’t trying to convert him or anything but it would be nice if he had more respect for their beliefs. He and I both agreed we would not attend at the Catholic Church as the doctorine doesn’t align with our beliefs. This past weekend my grandma (who is nearly 90) asked me if I would go to a visiting European choir concert at our local parish. I thought this would be a great way to spend time with my grandma and I knew it would be a special memory because it’s not often that large European singing groups come to our small town. And since my grandpa use to be in a traveling choir and he passed away 3 years ago, I new that this was special to my grandma. I agreed to take her and told my bf I was excited. His whole demeanor changed. He argued with me in front of his sister, saying that “we agreed to never go there again” but I told him “it was a just a choir concert, it’s not like I’m going to mass”. He claimed that because it was a Catholic choir at the Catholic church that it didn’t matter and I was in the wrong. I told him it wasn’t my fault for his lack of clarification and it wasn’t fair that this was an issue when we still attend church with his family. I explained to him why this was special for my grandma and he didn’t care and said “plan something else with her”. I even offered that after this, if my grandma offered a plan like this again I would turn it down or suggest something else. The argument resulted in him threatening to end things, and while I know that is toxic and manipulative I still gave in. I called my grandma the next day and told her I wasn’t feeling well. The next day he was love bombing me as if nothing happened. It has been a few days since and he’s still mad that I ever considered going and keeps saying “this is why I don’t want to marry you anytime soon”. I understand we agreed on finding our own church but I don’t think that taking my grandma to a choir concert is disrespecting that, aita?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Black0uT_00 on 2023-07-27 12:59:13+00:00.

I (16M) am pretty average in my studies, I get around 79-80 percentage in my exams. My dad promised me if I get above 95 percentage, He would buy me the iPhone 14 pro max as currently I don't own any phone. So I decided to study pretty hard but unfortunately just because of 1 subject all my percentage tanked to 89.8% which excluding that one subject would have reached an insane 98.6.

I know i do not deserve it now as I could not fulfil what I promised but I think i should be rewarded for the effort as if we didn't count that 1 subject i would've reached the goal, combined with the fact that i was studying 14-16 hrs daily, even compromising my sleep for the past month. I needed a phone cuz right now I'm 16.5 y/o and everyone around me is connected with each other on whatsapp and all, so I asked him to buy me a 12 pro I was getting for less than 300 bucks but he rejected that idea too.

Now i feel sad that I did not get anything despite my efforts and I Don't feel its worth it to work hard until I'm 18. I cannot get a part time job too (Country legal issues) + I have 0 allowance so I cannot do anything (My Country doesn't allow jobs for under 18 people) until I'm 18. Btw my family is pretty well off so its not like we are poor. AITA for thinking I still deserve the phone?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/thrwaway2345654 on 2023-07-27 12:57:34+00:00.

For some context, my first name is made up of two words (For example Mary-Kate). The first word is a very feminine first name, and is often spelled wrong and/or mispronounced. When I was 10 years old I started going by a nickname of my second "first" name. (For example, if my name was Mary-Kate I would go exclusively by Katie).

Anyway, this summer I(16F) decided to work at a residential summer camp for people with disabilities. Its a camp that I went to as a kid and now 100% love. That specific camp hires most of its staff from many different countries. Out of 70 people I am one of 3 Americans, and also the youngest. That being said, the nickname that I preferred to be called by can be very difficult to say with particular accents, so I told many of the staff members that they could just call my by the first letter of my name.

However, one of my coworkers , "A" has one of those accents that make it very hard for her to say my name. Its important to note that I've known A for many years and she was one of my camp counselors when I was a camper. She asked me if she could call me by my first name, and I said yes.

Now, within the staff there are different departments. I work on a team with twelve people: 4 Mexicans, 1 South American, 1 from the Dominican Republic, 1 from Poland, 1 Indian, 1 American, 1 Jamaican, 1 from Namibia, and me. Out of all of those people, only one of them seems to have trouble with my name. I'll call him T(26M), from Namibia. He only ever calls me by the first letter which is completely fine with me and I totally understand that.

Anyway, two-ish weeks ago he overheard A call me by my first name. Ever since then, he's started bugging me about it. Making comments about how my first name is so pretty, asking what it means, bringing it up at random times. I could ignore all of that until he started whispering it to me as he walked past. He then started dropping hints that he also wanted to call me by my first name. I kept trying to tell him no, but he keeps bugging me. He just says that he struggles so much and 'its no big deal', but I really don't like it. So, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Latter-Place-6298 on 2023-07-27 12:53:36+00:00.

I (18F) am currently visiting family in Peru. I live in the US with my parents. My mom (44F) thought it would be a nice surprise to rearrange my room. I texted her about rearranging my room together but I specifically put together in all caps when i texted her about it. Five minutes after i had texted her about rearranging my room she facetimes me and walks into my room to show that she has changed everything. Trying to be nice I didn’t want to say anything and just went along with it. She finished showing me my room and I asked her “ hey i don’t see my desk” she then panned the camera over to the hallway where my desk sat next to a pile of trash. I couldn’t help but cry. That desk was a huge deal for me. before i had it i had to do all my schoolwork on my piano. It also gave me a space to do my hair and makeup, it’s also just helpful as i do a lot of schoolwork at home. That desk meant so much to me. She noticed i was crying and then started making everything about her. Saying that none of her kids appreciate her or the things she does for them and it would be better if she just stopped trying as a mother period. I explained to her that while I do appreciate the thought I specifically told her not to touch my room as she has a habit of doing these things and then we fight because of our difference in style. She even joked about “ oh i know not to go in your room, you would kill me”. She joked about that a week ago and revealed to me yesterday she had been rearranging my room since the day i left. She claims she wanted everything to be nice for when i start school, since I have three days back in the states before my first day, but now I have to Rearrange my room AGAIN so it’s functional for me, and i haven’t been able to think of anything but how i’m going to fix my room.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Top_Afternoon_8360 on 2023-07-27 12:46:58+00:00.

I (15F) was having lunch with my mom (54F) and my dad (50M) and I decided to tell them about a new painting technique that I found.

I talk very fast and they started making jokes about it, so I told them to stop, they didn't.

Then my father told me to stop talking like a fucking parrot, so I shut up and remained quiet for the rest of the meal, he got very mad at this and started screaming at me that I had a very bad attitude and was a spoiled brat.

My mother told him to stop calling me that, and he started saying that he is always the bad one, that I have everything and still want more, and that every teenager should do military service at 15 like he did.

I got very mad, since it was the 14th time he screamed at me very loud (I hate loud noises) and I told him to stop talking about his childhood trauma in that way, and to do it more calmly, he started screaming so I just reacted out of impulse and told him to leave me the fuck alone for once.

I'll resume the next part in him throwing a plate at my face and then, him getting up and throwing a pillow.

Am I the a-hole for doing that?