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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/breadstick_bitch on 2023-07-27 13:31:22+00:00.


I (24F) was a bridesmaid in my sister's (28F) wedding this week, and it was not without its drama. The drama directly between the two of us started at the rehearsal when she told me her plans for my bouquet. She wanted me to take my necklace off and pin it around the stems, then display the bouquet at her reception, out of my sight. I was visibly uncomfortable with this and started tearing up, and I could tell that she was annoyed.

My necklace is a glass bead that was blown using our brother's ashes and his cremation tag. He died unexpectedly a few years ago and afterwards my mom, sister and I each had matching necklaces made. She rarely wears hers but mine is a fixture on my body; I haven't taken it off since we received them. My brother was the person I was closest to in the world; he was severely autistic and I was his "person" for everything. He and my sister were never very close.

The interaction we had was at the very end of her rehearsal before all of the goodbyes, and right after my sister left I started crying and told my mom how uncomfortable I would be not wearing my necklace. She was in agreement with me and also felt uncomfortable taking hers off.

The morning of her wedding, my sister gave my mom and I each charms with my brother's initials that she wanted us to add to our bouquets. She didn't address the necklaces any further until we were literally walking out of the bridal salon to go down the aisle; she told my mom and I that we had to take off our necklaces and put them on the bouquets. I told my sister that I didn't want to take it off, and she told me that the tag is "ugly" and that I needed to put the necklace on the bouquet.

The wedding coordinator stepped in and told me that I needed to take my necklace off now, and I responded with "It's my brother's ashes, I'm not taking it off." My mom immediately jumped in on my side and said that I wouldn't be taking it off, but that I could turn it around and hide it under my hair. We were pushed out the door so it ended at that. I left the tag and bead hidden behind my hair for the pictures as well and only flipped it back when we sat down for dinner.

My sister didn't interact with me at all for the rest of the day, and hasn't spoken with either of us since the wedding. My mom is on my side, but I'm not sure if I took a wrong step here. AITA?

Other info:

•My mom paid for the entire wedding •My sister knows that my mom and I don't ever take off our necklaces •There was another bridesmaid, so it's not like the bouquets needed the necklace to match •My mom did wrap hers on her bouquet, and someone working the wedding misplaced it. (They found it later!)

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this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2023
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