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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/brunetti3 on 2023-07-27 15:38:54+00:00.

My husband (34m) and I (31f) have been together for 11 years, married for 8. Weve always been opposites. My husband likes to play video games and 4x a month he goes to these meetings where they sit around and eat and talk about politics/current events etc. We have 2 kids, 4 and 5 years old. We both work full time

I am the only one who does the errands and cleans and does laundry etc. (My moms lives with us and does help some) He won't help because he makes more money than I do so he says it's on me. This is a topic of contention and would be something for another post.

A few weeks ago we got into it. He was saying how I make no effort to do things with him and he's made every effort possible and now it's up to me to fix it because he can't any more. I don't really have any hobbies. After work I cook dinner, bathe the kids and get them ready for bed. We both put them to bed (usually) and then I shower and watch a little TV before bed. He used to occasionally lay on the couch with me as I watched TV. Paying attention every so often, but mostly on his phone. This is what hes referring to when he says he's tried. Because he "partakes in my hobbies" he stopped sitting with me during my shows a long time ago because I don't go to his hobbies.

We were in therapy last year and this was brought up. She suggested we find something new to do together that we'd both like. I brainstormed a list. We agreed on doing a weekly home date night where we'd watch a show we both liked and make a different adult beverage each time. We did this for a couple months then it stopped. It recently came out that he never enjoyed doing that.

I researched some video games we could play as a couple and bought 1. We've played it 3x. He has no interest in it. Video games in general give me motion sickness and I can only play so long before I am nauseated and have to stop. He knows this but says I have to power through it and eventually it won't affect. Currently he's playing 1 video game almost exclusively that is on the computer. In order for me to play, id have to have my own gaming computer which he says is over $1k. He said he'd buy it for me but I know when I inevitably don't play that often, he'd be mad that he wasted that money.

The meet ups he goes to are during the week after work. If I went, we'd have to hire a sitter. Sometimes he gets home from this after midnight. I can't get home that late then be up early for work the next day. I am introverted and being in a big group of people who are discussing things I'm not interested sounds awful to me. I know if I went I'd not talk much and he has said that if I went and didn't talk much he'd be angry. So that makes me want to go even less because then it'd be an argument after.

I'm not sure what to do. AITA for not doing his hobbies? I feel like I'm drowning already with work, the kids and house stuff so trying to add more to that just doesn't seem possible.