dependencyinjection

I won’t be able to respond to answers until tomorrow on this but I will come back.

So, I’m early 40’s and had the same group of like 10+ friends since my mid teens. I am unique in that I’m a nerd but also quite streetwise because I spent all my time with my chav mates. I only mention this for context that we may all have been fundamentally different people and it’s just due to a shit home life I ended up wanting to chill with friends more than my desire to just geek out and learn random stuff or pursue whatever special interest I have at the time.

Around 5 years ago I got diagnosed with ADHD and it really got my life on track after medication. At the same time I was lucky enough to land a job on the Genius Bar for Apple and they supported me through the diagnosis and then bettering my life.

I managed to upskill and I’m now a software developer. Now during this time I was still abusing a lot of drugs: cocaine socially, Xanax (from the darkweb) when depressed, and weed lots of fucking weed.

Gradually I started making better choices and not really touching cocaine aside from as a treat every so often. Weed I can smoke at weekend whilst I go rock climbing and not do it in the week and don’t need to do it at weekend either. Xanax I stopped cold turkey and almost died.

I then started to notice that most of my friends were fair weather friends and they didn’t treat our friendship with the same consideration I would when making decisions. So me and my longest friend decided to just cut out those people from our lives and it’s been just me and him chilling together a lot, but now he is really annoying and I’m noticing more and more how selfish and negative he is.

To give a couple of examples:

• If I tell someone I’m going to be there in 30 minutes. Then I’m going to be there around that time and if not I would keep them updating or rush to keep time. He last week text to say he was dropping his dad off and will be at mine. Now we have each other on FindMy so if one loses our phone we can still find it. So I know how long it takes to get to his dads and then to mine. I get offered lunch at home and decline cause I think he won’t be long. 2.5 hours later no word and on FindMy he is still at his dads. So I text to say I’m going out for cause I’m hungry and he is a long guy. No remorse from him at all. He will message sometimes to say come out (as he is coming to pick me up) but I check FindMy and he’s 10-15 mins away. So why inconvenience me and make me stand outside when he ain’t even close.
• again tonight I was coming back from work on the train and we were going to link up, but he had football training and said he would be back at 20:20. I get to town at 18:00 so it’s not worth getting home at 19:15 to go back out an hour later so I said no worries I’ll chill in town and get some food and be back in our town at 20:20. I get off the tram at 20:16 and text to say hey just getting off tram and he replies I’ve got 4 lads to take home then drop my kid at his mums (adult kid) and then he’ll be back. Which means about 21:00. So why tell me 20:20? I just said no worries I’m going home to bed.
• these things happen several times a week and it frustrates me that they don’t think of me with the same consideration as I do them.
• last example even though I have hundreds. He owes me £600 and on Monday asked for another £70 but this is until Wednesday. This morning I put a question mark next to the message that he asked for the money, as a prod to say did you forget. He responded with I said Wednesday it’s only Thursday stop sweating me 😂. Like WTF. Thursday is after Wednesday and all I did was ask.

So i guess my question is how do i deal with the fact I’ve wasted so much time on these people that clearly don’t care as much as i do and that the friendship is one sided.

I honestly feel like writing the £600 off as the price to just fuck him off and do my own thing. I don’t think I can find new friends as I’m older now but honestly I would spend more than £600 paying for things like food and days out on him before I actually get the money he owes me back and it hurts man. Like really bad and I don’t know what to do.

The other thing, and I’ll try keep this the final thing as I know I’m rambling now due to frustration and just being sad, is that although I can be depressed a lot and not want to be alive, not that I want to end it, but I’d rather not be here type thing. Is I keep that shit bottled up and try and be positive around other people and I genuinely always try not to dwell on negatives and use positive intent with people as negatively is crippling. This guy is the epitome of negativity, like just moans all the time. Moans about traffic whilst he is traffic, moans about cyclists even though that’s one less car on the road, moans about literally anything. He could find £20 on the floor and find a negative in it.

Fuck. I feel better just getting this off my chest to be honest but would appreciate any insights, advice, or similar stories that might help me not be impulsive.

Edit: He did just message to say sorry about that football was a piss take, which shows he did actually think about it when he got finished, but he still would have known he had to stop people off before we made our arrangements.

As the title states I am wondering what would be a good machine to build for my piracy. I am open to buying a used machine on eBay and expanding over time.

The last time I was sailing I had a Dell R610 Server Rack but I don’t have the space for this now. So something that can sit behind a tv stand in the corner next to the router.

• I would be running Plex / Jellyfin
• Some kind of torrent software
• Something for NZBs if still viable
• then the usual SONARR, RADARR, etc

I would like to be able to let friends connect from outside my house to stream media and allow them access so they can add films and the server goes off and finds them, extracts them, and adds them to the media server.

Thanks.

Image description: A crude drawing of a stick man sitting in a chair in an unusual position. Right leg is bent at the knee with the sole of the foot flat on the seat and the knee up towards the chin. The left leg is bent at the knee where the lower leg is flat against the seat and the foot is on the seat under the buttocks.

As the title states I am confused on this matter. The way I see it, the USA has a two party system and in the next few weeks they’re either going to have Trump or Harris as president, come inauguration day. With this in mind doesn’t it make sense to vote for the person least likely to escalate the situation even more.

Giving your vote to an independent or worse not voting at all, just gives more of a chance for Trump to win the election and then who knows what crazy stuff he will allow, or encourage, Israel to get away with.

I really don’t get the logic. As sure nobody wants to vote for a party allowing these heinous crimes to be committed, but given you’re getting one of them shouldn’t you be voting for the one that will be the least horrible of the two.

Please don’t come at me with pro-Israeli rhetoric as this isn’t the post for that, I’m asking about why people would make such choices and I’m not up for debate on the Middle East, on this post, you can DM me for that.

Edit: Bedtime here now so will respond to incoming comments in the morning, love starting the day with an inbox full 😊.

Edit 2: This blew up, it’s a little overwhelming right now but I do intent on replying to everybody that took the time to comment. Just need to get in the right headspace.

So, the question seems vague but I will elaborate.

I’m a software developer, but I don’t do games; yet I have an urge to try and make something.

It just seems so overwhelming, I know I want to make a game where the main character is a cat and you have to complete missions, but where do you even begin. Where does the art come from? How do you refine your idea, if all you know is you want a cat game? How do you choose an engine? Do you just start with the basics and get a cat walking around and see what comes next? If you can’t hash out the idea then so you have a right to even try and make a game? Is it best to follow tutorials to get used to making games? I feel the answer to that is no as before I become a software developer, tutorial hell was a thing and I realised I needed to make things for me to actually learn.

Sorry for all the questions, this was just a stream of thought.

As the title says, I’m looking for some advice about hobbies.

I struggle with depression off and on and recently it’s been quite tough to be motivated, but I tried indoor rock climbing and I’ve been going twice a week for around a month and I love it. I like the problem solving aspect and it being mixed in with physical activity, as I have a sedentary job as a software developer so it’s good to be more active.

This is where the issue is though, I have terrible hands. I have something called Dupytren’s Contracture, which essentially is extra collagen forms around the tendons and severely limits range of movement in the hands (I’ll post pictures of my hands in the comments).

So my question is would you continue this hobby even though it’s wrecking my hands and look at having another fasciotomy to get them less painful.

Or can you suggest any other physical hobbies that would also be engaging mentally to complete.

Perhaps I should have been wiser before getting hooked on this, but I’m devastated that I might not be able to do it long term.

I’ve just been out for food with parents (60’s) and nana (80’s) and I don’t know why I go as they leave me disheartened every time damn time.

In the short span of a couple of hours they (mainly my nana but parents will have silly views too) managed to comment on the number of black athletes at the Olympics (somehow being a bad thing), shit on the upcoming Para-olympics (quote: disabled people should just accept their lot and not try sport), protesters (of any kind) and questioning if any protests have ever been successful, to which I answered the suffragette‘s we’re pretty successful.

Complaining about people being spoilt these days at the same time as my nana confessing she was given food in a bowl at my aunties and refused to eat it unless it was on a plate (seems pretty spoilt to me). Asking for things to be like when she was younger, to which I asked if she was a fan of Nazi Germany as she grew up post WWII.

I guess I am wondering how can I come from a family that seemingly has no compassion for anybody and even less empathy for anybody different than them. They make me angry at times and I know I can be annoying my always challenging their bullshit views, but I can’t sit there and let people take utter nonsense like this.

I haven’t even covered half the awful stuff they say and their warped ideals.

Edit: The other one that irritates me is them (two women ) shitting on female athletes. Like WTF if a female wants to be a footballer what skin is it off their noses. Unless they just bitter they people have more choice to be themselves now.

As the title states. I’ve been a software developer for a year now and work for a tiny company, where the salary isn’t amazing. I got paid more at Apple Genius Bar, but it wasn’t as challenging.

I still feel like I’m stupid, I’ll rely on the owner lead engineer for help on the more complex problems and because we have a great set of conventions I’ll frequently be going back to old projects to extract the logic from their. Whether that be reading from Excel spreadsheets or the controller flow, as we use GraphQL api for most calls.

Does it just click at some point?

I ran a search but nothing was returned but searching on lemmyverse returned some like

!darknets@lemmy.toot.pt

But not sure how to join in from Voyager.