SARGE

I can help you out with 2 of those 3 things!

There's a D&D-like game that I used to play that actually has education requirements to read different languages. If your background didn't give you the trait, you had to learn from someone who knew how to read.

It made for some interesting role-playing when normally intelligent people were playing illiterate characters.

You know, quantum resonance in the Heisenberg compensators. Sometimes the dice spit out an impossible number.

Don't even get me started on the time we rolled a natural negative

I once had the opportunity to take a really nice microscope from a school district I was working for when I was 18.

I was working on sorting all the old curriculum for 1st-12 grades core subjects for disposal/recycling and then receiving new stuff.

They were updating the entirety of all science departments and the highschool was getting rid of their old microscopes. The ones that were in working order were to be placed aside for donation, and the non-working ones simply tossed in the dumpsters.

I was allowed to take whatever I wanted that was to be thrown away, but I figured I didn't want to spend time and money tracking down the right bulb to fix the best non-working one, and decided not to take one.

Current me is cursing younger me because I could have easily swapped out the light with a LED, and even if I couldn't, there were LITERALLY microscopes with broken optics and working lights, and I could have just taken one extra one for parts...

Young me was dumb.

I did snag a mostly-complete rock sample set for demonstration of various geology testing techniques. Also a fist-sized chunk of silicon.

So I wasn't completely dumb.

Ultimately, if he doesn't do it, someone else will.

Then they'll get the money, and he can't let that happen.

Ever notice the nickelodeon logo once looked like a normal splat of goo, then it became a foot?

Ever notice that some of the shoes had some odd camera angles that highlited the literal children's feet?

Dan Schneider:

things that you can just take when no one is looking.

That applies to a great many things, and places!

We broke out the deep-core drill, and set it up in sub-basement level 419.

It's gonna be a rough few years. (fingers crossed it's just a few years...)

Unfortunately, plenty of other countries would take him in, but it would be nice if no country would let his ass in.

Like someone else said, it's not their mess to handle. However, I personally don't want other countries to deal with him in any way. We just kick him out and he can figure out what to do from there.

I have told managers, to their faces, I do not have a smart phone... While holding my smart phone.

So far, while most have quite noticeably glanced at my phone, none have actually called me out on it.

If any of them ever do, I will just get a prepaid flip phone and use that for work.

I'm always a fan of "best possible outcome" for 20, and "worst possible outcome that doesn't immediately kill anyone" for nat1.

If you're 2ft tall and trying to destroy an iron wall and roll a 20, you successfully scrape some iron off the wall. It doesn't just collapse spontaneously. If you roll a ~~0~~ 1, your attack bounces off and your weapon breaks. Luckily it didn't rebound and hit you.

It makes things more believable, however rule of cool is obviously above that. So if you can do a flip off a cliff onto the back of a dragon and convince it to attack the tarrasque for you before it eats you, and roll a 20 for all that, you better believe that dragon now considers you it's deity, and will die in a ball of flames, acid, ice, etc, in your name while flying headfirst down the tarrasque's throat. The tarrasque obviously dies from this, since it's so epic.

I guess it really depends on the stakes.

And nothing of value was lost.