Applicable Carlin quotes:

"If you're pre-born, you're fine. If you're preschool, your fucked."

"Conservatives like live babies because they grow up to be dead soldiers."

And finally "You ever notice how these 'pro-life' dicks are people you'd never wanna fuck in the first place?!"

Pelosi isn't a cunt. Something something depth and warmth. She's below a cunt; she's a cankle.

Looks like obstruction is back on the menu, boys.

He also let everyone believe he was just gonna run for one term. Then, when election season comes around, when asked if he was gonna step aside and that most Americans would like him to not run, his response?

"Watch me."

Fuck you, Jack. FUCK. YOU.

Now now, I'm sure the constant screaming of the sacrifice children at the annual Pot Luck/Sacrifice Orgy had an effect, too.

"Best we can do is this easily hackable plastic junk that resembles a marital aid and hides the door handles when on fire. Oh, and you'll need to buy a lifetime subscription, submit a hair and blood sample, and headshots of your first born... for science."

Ryan started the fire.

"Narrow, unenlightened self interest doesn't impress me."

Seriously! The battle Royale mode had me addicted for weeks, and I'm not a fan of BR's.

"My tower is the tallest now!"

That comment was exactly why i moved to dby0. That shit was gross.

I am Jack's pancreas. I get cancer, Jack dies.