Findus_Falke

Und du, mein Junge siehst ein Quadrat und nennst es einen Würfel

Addendum: I just found out about orbital resonance and my mind is blown. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orbital_resonance

Also, the "lost planet(s)" i mentioned was a theory I liked as a kid. I know actual science suggests it is a cloud of material that was never even able to form a planet mainly because of Jupiters gravitational influence. But I still like it as a fantasy story.

Yeah you're right. From top to bottom it should be Jupiter - Saturn - (whatever planet(s) was/were there before there was the asteroid belt)

Edit: corrected my German habitual capitalization

thats quite short

Depends on what they mean by "clean off". I suspect it's not going to be as clean as you'd imagine.

No, this is obviously the bald dude from Little Britain. /s

For a hot secon I thought this was supposed to be surreal-funny, but it actually made a lot of sense in a way.

I think it's Thailand /s

My thought exactly. I got news for you, OP...

The forbidden tea

let me picture one of the diagrams:

two axies: (drinks blood / gets its blood drunken) × (has to be invited / comes in uninvited)

and in the four corners are 1) Vampires 2) Mosquitos 3) Jesus 4) Kool Aid Man