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[-] SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works 170 points 1 week ago

Giftedness easily becomes a social disability if your environment isn't good for it. The education system isn't ready to handle you constantly being ahead of the class? Get ready to sleep in school as the best years to take advantage of it pass by. Your topics of interest are too complex for everyone else around? Have fun enjoying your friendships less than everyone else. You don't mask your intelligence? Here, have 10 lottery tickets to get bullied, no, you can't return them. Congratulations, you graduated from college. Do you have the money for a masters degree? Oops, guess you studied for nothing. Got into debt and got a masters, but the job market isn't booming? Do you have rich parents, or rich friends? Aw shucks, guess you couldn't network your way into the type of job you would have liked.

Being intelligent helps, if you're patient, hard-working, and have the means to look out for the less conventional options, but not so much as one would instinctively think.

[-] gibmiser@lemmy.world 125 points 1 week ago

Was everything super easy for you? Congrats, you never learned how to struggle and persist and you get discouraged easily. Good luck growing your skills and knowledge now...

[-] scops@reddthat.com 44 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Hey that's me! I coasted through high school and got to college having no work ethic or ability to really study material that I almost, but not quite, had down. Dropped out senior year to work in IT, got fired a year later, and had to move back in with my parents for almost a year before I went back and finished my degree and got a new job.

It was very humbling

[-] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 14 points 1 week ago

I coasted through elementary school and ran up against undiagnosed autism, ADHD, and GAD (it was the 80s and I wasn't disruptive) once homework started getting real. Had no problem learning the material, aced the tests, struggled with homework and writing assignments. "Not working up to his potential" became "lazy." I took myself out of the gifted classes in middle school and bailed on "college prep" classes in my sophomore year. By the time I graduated I had failed English three times and wanted nothing to do with college and its endless papers I'd never write. Went to tech school for IT/electronics and did field service work for a bit before getting burned out and laid off. Landed in corporate IT and got real intimate with depression. 25 years later I'm still trying to recover from a lifetime of fighting uphill on hard mode against AuDHD, anxiety, depression, trauma, and the resulting burnout, keenly aware of my shortcomings the entire time while simultaneously fostering a deep seated contempt for the orphan crushing machines that define modern life.

My life would have been a whole lot easier if I had only been sociopathic.

[-] kellyaster@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

It's rare, but you ain't alone. Man, I feel your pain. This happened to me, too, in the 80s. I was undiagnosed ADHD, which was never suspected because at the time it was just "ADD" and I wasn't hyperactive. I had a lot of difficulty focusing, which affected my ability to learn and got me labeled -- yep, how'd you guess? -- "lazy" unanimously by all the adults in my life. I still got excellent grades most of the time, which just reinforced the lazy theory.

But wait, it got worse! I hit a wall academically when we started learning more advanced stuff and I wasn't able to brute-force my way into A's and B's, and so I immersed myself in art (as a way to cope, I'm now realizing in hindsight), graduated in the bottom quarter of a prestigious prep school, and graduated 5 yrs later from college with an art degree. And I didn't know what to do with my life, so I went back! For a second art degree! And I nearly flunked out again and had to reapply and finally graduated again...jfc, this is exhausting having to recount, haha...anyway, fast forward a lot and guess what? Now I'm a programmer. Web developer, specifically.

Never went for the CS degree. I wanted to, but I honestly thought I was stupid and utterly incapable of handling the curriculum - especially the math - so I wrote off that career path entirely. Like, I never gave myself a chance. I'm finally where I feel like I should be, but it took so long to get here, ya know? I wish I knew when I was younger that I wasn't stupid.

[-] Daefsdeda@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago

Any advice for someone who just graduated but never did any real work due to the same problems (gifted but adhd). I just finished college but I just struggle so hard with the job aspect.

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[-] Shard@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Tell me, master Bruce, why do we fall?

So we can pick ourselves up.

[-] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 24 points 1 week ago

Oh I feel this so much. There's a range of jobs and environments where I do really really well. But the way most organizations are structured I can never find a place where my strengths are desirable in the long term.
And selling myself is not one of my strengths.

[-] xpinchx@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

Try smaller businesses maybe? Corporate isn't for everyone.

I got hired for two simple tasks and quickly realized the company (being small) was lacking in a lot of areas I specialize in or am passionate about. I started doing all these extra things and I got a lot of recognition and $$$ in return. I also don't hate my job, it's a small team and we all get along great.

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[-] Sabata11792@ani.social 14 points 1 week ago

Your topics of interest are too complex for everyone else around? Have fun enjoying your friendships less than everyone else.

This never goes away, but it at least got me a job.

[-] Aceticon@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

In my experience, the expectations of most people about "gifted" level intelligence seem to be shaped shaped by things like movies and are wholly unrealistic.

Even a twice as fast CPU is no guarantee that the software running in it is any good or appropriate for any one task.

[-] BorgDrone@lemmy.one 8 points 1 week ago

Reminds me of this comic, in Dutch but the translation is right below it (for all the dumbasses who can’t read Dutch)

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[-] Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com 46 points 1 week ago

I was told that when I went to college I would realize that I'm not that smart. Instead I met a bunch of people who got depressed because they weren't as good as I was. I tried to explain to them that I was a freak who was masking so hard that I collapsed from exhaustion whenever I got home, and they shouldn't try to compare themselves to me because the part of my brain that does logic ate the part that reads faces and understands how talking works. I wanted them to understand that there was a lot that came naturally to them that I would never be able to do easily.

[-] SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 week ago

Humble autism.

[-] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 40 points 1 week ago

School said I was gifted but I think I was just a big fish in a small pond.

[-] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 18 points 1 week ago

"Gifted" in school basically just means "above average" and as we all know...

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

--George Carlin

[-] OpenStars@discuss.online 40 points 1 week ago
[-] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 33 points 1 week ago

"IQ" and other intelligence tests are incredibly flawed. The biggest issue is that intelligence is very hard to define. Not to mention the IQ test comes from racist origins and was used for immigration testing for a long time.

[-] nelly_man@lemmy.world 40 points 1 week ago

Well the origins were laudable, it's just that it was shortly thereafter extended for racist means. Binet and Simon wanted to see if they could devise a test to measure intelligence in children, and they ultimately came up with a way to measure a child's mental age.

At the time, problem children who did poorly in school were assumed to be sick and sent to an asylum. They proposed that some children were just slow, but they could still be successful if they got more help. Their test was meant to identify the slow children so that they could allocate the proper resources to them.

Later, their ideas were extended beyond the education system to try to prove racial hierarchies, and that's where much of the controversy comes from. The other part is that the tests were meant to identify children that would struggle in school. They weren't meant to identify geniuses or to understand people's intelligence level outside of the classroom.

[-] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago

This is a good and nuanced take, thank you for taking the time to write it down. Piggybacking on this, if anyone wants to dive more deeply into the subject of psychological measurement, there's an excellent book by Derek Briggs about this: Historical and Conceptual Foundations of Measurement in the Human Sciences: Credos & Controversies.

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[-] Bezzelbob@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

We know this, the issue is until a more comprehensive test comes around, the IQ test is the best we have, also measuring general pattern recognition can be pretty useful as a "quick and sweet" measure since pattern recognition is the base for all other forms of intelligence

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[-] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 31 points 1 week ago

Thought I read something somewhere like:

the most common thing in the world is unapplied intelligence

Must be butchering it pretty badly if Google’s blank

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[-] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 26 points 1 week ago

I'm in this picture and I don't like it.

[-] lightnegative@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago

Me too, the red band on the left hand side

[-] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 20 points 1 week ago

i mean, "gifted" is basically doublespeak for "on the neurodivergence spectrum" and society just fucking hates neurodivergent people.
It's not really that we're aware of our deficiencies, it's that society makes us feel bad for things that are completely natural and should be viewed as sidegrades mostly.

[-] EatATaco@lemm.ee 12 points 1 week ago

I don't follow this at all.

My son is in the gifted program. He is also one of the most socially intelligent people I've ever met. Makes friends easily, is a natural leader, shows kindness and acceptance towards all people, and adults frequently comment to me how mature he is when interacting with them. He is well accepted by society and moves around in it with ease.

I also think you're missing the point. Are you familiar with the dunning Kruger effect? It's the idea that smart people are better at recognizing their own shortcomings because they are smart, and less intelligent people aren't smart enough to realize all of their shortcomings.

[-] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 1 week ago

Hi! Assuming that neurodivergent people can't be socially intelligent is kind of offensive, neurodivergence is a wide spectrum and it manifests differently for everyone.

Also, just because someone seems good at something doesn't mean it's not a massive effort for them, read up about masking :)

[-] Restaldt@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

This. Especially the second half.

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[-] Linkerbaan@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago

"The Woods Would Be Very Silent If No Birds Sang Except Those Who Sang Best"

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago

His last name is DROP TABLE Students;--.

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[-] Colour_me_triggered@lemm.ee 15 points 1 week ago

Trust me, the same thing applies to the green region.

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[-] brygphilomena@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

Now we're going to put you in the ~~special ed~~ gifted school program.

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[-] Restaldt@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

The awwwwtism range

[-] CPMSP@midwest.social 10 points 1 week ago

As I've said before, G&T when you're young means MANY G&T's when you're older.

[-] graphito@sopuli.xyz 19 points 1 week ago

OK, I just had 5 Ginn tonics, how much more?

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[-] ClockNimble@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Don't worry everyone. Blue is exactly the same as green, but colored differently. As someone in the blue, friends with green.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I was put in GT classes in middle school because I went to a (shitty) private elementary school where every kid went on to GT. Somehow I struggled through GT until those classes weren't offered anymore (sophomore year of high school) and I hated every minute of it and was really bad at what they wanted me to do.

If I could do it over again, I would beg my parents not to put me in GT classes.

[-] psud@aussie.zone 2 points 5 days ago

When I was a primary school kid we didn't have gifted and talented classes. Kids who were ahead of the class could continue doing more and more advanced maths, move onto the next year's work, though in 6th grade the problems only went up to advanced 6th grade. I don't know what you would do if you were smart but unsatisfied with maths, I guess you'd be disruptive.

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[-] Etterra@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Oh hey, throw in some crippling depression and overwhelming cynicism and I'm there too.

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this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2024
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