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Boeing Promotes Mysterious Employee Known Only As ‘The Panther’ (www.theonion.com)
submitted 7 months ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
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[-] orvorn@slrpnk.net 117 points 7 months ago

Agent 747

[-] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 8 points 7 months ago

You're hired. Report to Chicago on Monday.

[-] DigitalTraveler42@lemmy.world 53 points 7 months ago

Only the Onion would write an article about the promotion of a corporate hitman/fixer after a Boeing whistleblower was just "suicided" IRL, and make it hilarious.

[-] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 31 points 7 months ago

I freaking thought " of course". Reality has gotten so stupid I didn't even think for a second this was fake.

[-] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 9 points 7 months ago

Soon enough, Onion stories will start predicting the future

[-] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 5 points 7 months ago

I think they actually did a few years ago. I don't remember the article, but it might have been one about Bush Jr

[-] Retreaux@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago

I read the article they wrote like 15 years (or more) ago about the US sneaking out of Afghanistan in the middle of the night like a one-night stand. And then I read an article describing the actual occurrence when it happened and so many details were spot-on it was scary.

[-] Coasting0942@reddthat.com 10 points 7 months ago

So dumb. The shareholders end up paying the costs for this.

[-] tsonfeir@lemm.ee 15 points 7 months ago

The shareholders helped fund the murder of John Barnett.

[-] agent_flounder@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

I'm sure the ROI estimate checked out.

[-] tsonfeir@lemm.ee 6 points 7 months ago

Is he the one who killed John Barnett?

[-] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

Well, he could tell you . . . but then

[-] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 3 points 7 months ago

Could it be an alter ego of Agent 47?

[-] WarmSoda@lemm.ee 2 points 7 months ago

Come on man. That's obviously the joke.

this post was submitted on 14 Mar 2024
323 points (98.5% liked)

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