Not condiments per se but my spice cabinet makes me feel like an almighty forest alchemist

Chipotle mayo tells me to do scary things. That’s why I stick to regular mayo.

Every time I open the fridge and see Sweet Baby Ray’s I have to fight the urge not to squirt some directly into my mouth. Does that count?

These two:

One is hot, one is mild. It's a lottery whether I can remember the right word in Hungarian when I open the fridge.

I'm on a jammin' jelly kick right now. Jam on toast, jam in oatmeal, jam in yogurt, jam on... well, that's about it.

I don't get triggered just by opening the fridge tho. Usually it's like "hey I haven't had this in a while" and I eat it nonstop for like a week until I'm sick of it, then don't touch it again for a few months. Nutella is currently on the hate list.

I'm influenced, but have a short attention span. So I might look in the fridge and see a condiment and make a whole meal around it, but then I'm done for awhile. Unless it's something that expires, then bingeing is required to avoid waste.

Let me tell you that Frank's red hot sauce on top of a saltine is my weird snack.

I have a bunch of spicy condiments and when I need gear I always open the fridge and my though process is whether any of them will work better than the chili oil I already know I'm going to end up using.

I will always remember fondly my days in the Savannah, serving under Colonel Mustard. It left a great impression on me, like the burn marks on a frankfurter. They’re on my upper right arm, because the Colonel thought I was one of the enemy one night while he was in his cups and sought to grill me. Well, he certainly gave me the third degree I’ll give him that. Yes, yes, I remember my days in the sweltering heat, in the Savannah. Under the command of Colonel Mustard.

Some may ask where I got these lines. It was Colonel Mustard, in the Savannah, with the potato masher.

I'm gonna go buy some motherfucking condiments!!

Never thought about it, but there is cheese sauce that whenever I open it up, it gets used until its gone like instantly. Every meal is rated on if the cheese sauce can be used.

Basically any sauce for me. I open a jar of pasta sauce to use part of it? Every meal I consider if I can use it.

I'm the opposite of you. I have several different sauces because I buy them "just in case" or because it sounds tasty and I've never tried it. They line a shelf and a tray in my fridge and a shelf in my cupboard. Sometimes I use them and it's awesome, sometimes I'll even use up a bottle, but most of the time they end up expiring and I throw them out.

Hot sauce is the exception. We always use up our hot sauces. In fact, I feel obligated to recommend a kickass hot sauce I just recently discovered:

Gindo's Truffle Parmesan hot sauce

Go get yourself a bottle. Best hot sauce I've ever had. Not that I'm a connoisseur or anything but I can't imagine a flavor to top this one.

Wish I had this problem. I'll do something like open the fridge, see my big jar of beni shoga, and get annoyed because I can't think of a way to use it that sounds good.

Usually cheese. It's expensive in Korea if you want something other than processed neon orange slices. If I happen to have a block of something nice I paid way too much for on a whim, I'll definitely plan a few meals around it.

Yes!

The burrito shop near us has this insanely spicy, insanely delicious red sauce, if I have that I am making food simply as a platform for it, until it is gone. It's so good.

Pork fu when I notice it I will make extra rice just so I can have leftover rice with egg, chili paste, pork fu.

Not steak sauce, and I am not swayed by Sriracha, but yes some condiments will dominate my food for awhile because when I eat them once I want them again.

I've never tried ranch dressing/dip before, I'm a spicy person. But I recently tried some, liked it, so I got a bottle. I'm pretty much putting it on anything dipable right now. It is really good. But I need to buy a bottle of painfully hot sauce, I need spicy.

I made a ton of pikliz some months ago, and I kept asking myself if what I was planning to eat would go well with it.

Oyster sauce. Curse you, tiny bottle of expense