this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2026
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Asklemmy

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I have 1. πŸ₯²

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[–] GonzoAtBarstow@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

I'm 53 and I've outlived many. The few I have I don't care to be around at all. (southern drinking buddy is maga & racist af, hear from him now maybe every 5 years)

So, 0 not counting family and their kids. I'm just content these days to watch family grow up.

edit: The biggest change to social interactions I've just noticed happens to be due to the legalization of weed, before that I'd have to keep a whole fucking network of associates on hand lol

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago

You’re doing better than I am.

I know people. We get along. But friends? Nope.

[–] Malica@lemmy.zip 20 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Does my husband count? If so, one :(

[–] FatVegan@leminal.space 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's kinda crazy. I'm 41 now and 10 or 15 years ago i often read that people said that they have no friend. And i thought that's more of a joke, like people knline joke about how they wanna kill themselves or whatever, because i had multiple friend groups, and would see a lot of them almost daily.

Suddenly, people moved away, were in relationships, had kids, died or you just realized that you are not friends anymore.

I talked to my girlfriend about our wedding and she asked me who i would invite. I had to think for a bit and said, i dunno, my sister... And that's pretty much it, since i marry my best and kind of only friend. Then she thought about it and said: my parents, and... Fuck, i don't have any friends either, except you.

[–] Malica@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 week ago

We were the same. It would have been 20 people at the most, that's with their families. We said "fuck it" and went to the courthouse. We were going to use wedding money for a honeymoon instead, but then the 2008 crash happened and we had to use it to get by almost a year of unemployment. It's crazy how easily one becomes isolated.

[–] Rozz@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 1 week ago

That's not sad if you like him

[–] fuckwit_mcbumcrumble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Close friends that I talk to almost daily? Like 4

Friends that I talk to about once a week or more? Like 10-15

Friends that I rarely talk to, but would hang out with time permitting? Like 30. Most are co workers that I’ll go drinking with after work.

[–] Hudell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 5 days ago

I'm pretty similar but I would switch the answers on the first and third question. I have a lot more people I talk to quite frequently than people I would be interested in hanging out with.

[–] ximtor@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 week ago

30?? How do you keep track of so many people ^^

[–] Vespair@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 week ago

Most Popular Person on Lemmy here to flex on the rest of us, damn

(I kid, I'm just jealous of your social circle)

[–] orenj@leminal.space 13 points 1 week ago

I can confidently say 2. i can delusionally say 6.

[–] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Damn, I'm sure someone is willing to befriend you

[–] Kyrias@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago

Depending on your definition.

Probably dozens.

People I talk to daily shooting the shit? Probably 10 or so.

[–] ximtor@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 week ago

Many comments mention "people i talk to every day". Is that really a common thing? Literally daily? I have a couple good friends, but definitely none I talk to daily πŸ˜…

For me it is more about being friends for many years and always having a good time when we meet. At most I chat 2-3 times a week with some.

I have 4 that I would consider close friends. Sometime having a small group of friends is good.

[–] dummyboymc23@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 week ago
[–] MeetMeAtTheMovies@hexbear.net 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

People I talk to every day: 2

People I feel able to confide in regularly: 3

People I occasionally invite over for a party: 15

Acquaintances I enjoy being around at social functions: maybe 50

None of the categories count my kids, other people’s kids, or family except for my wife

Also, I think my numbers are inflated because of how many bands I was in when I was younger. The community of that music scene was something I’m not sure I’ll ever see again. But I do play dnd every week, which helps too.

[–] Casuls_Die_Thrice@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I have 9; 5 are uni classmates I’m on a 2-semester project with, and the other 4 are:

-A retired public-sector official old enough to be my grandmother

-A semi-retired realtor also old enough to be my grandmother

-Another realtor who used to work for the first realtor but now is an exec at another company

-His notary-public and possibly-also-CIA longtime boyfriend

All of the latter 4 are older than my parents.

I'm 50. I only have time for acquaintances. Close friends take way too much time.

  1. My friend and my wife. I'm not a disagreeable person. I have a fair few friendly acquaintances, but I'm not willing to put in the energy for more actual friends
[–] sam@r1b.it 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Looking to find some more on my new instance ;)

[–] hexagonwin@lemmy.today 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

neat domain you got there!

[–] sam@r1b.it 1 points 2 days ago

Thanks! Feel free to join if you want it, too ;)

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 3 points 1 week ago

3 good ones and maybe 5 outside of that. I'm pretty bad at keeping up with them honestly. Sometimes I message them and they're like yo its been 6 months where you been, yeah sorry I got obsessed with something and forgot the world exists.

[–] PunkMonk@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 1 week ago

1

And it is only because of his mother dying that brought us back in touch with each other after many years seperated.

[–] dawcas@scribe.disroot.org 3 points 1 week ago

I think I have one. I don't think I'll be able to get more. 😿

[–] Suck_on_my_Presence@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'd say I have a good handful. I'm not good at getting close to people, so some toe the line for me between acquaintance and friend. For a numerical, I suppose if we count those toeing the line - maybe a dozen or so? Maybe 15?

I've been very lucky as an adult to find a lot of good people. 99% of them are from playing TTRPGs online.

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Where does one go to start playing these games?

[–] Suck_on_my_Presence@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

It's a bit tricky nowadays to find a solid game. There's plenty of LFG things on either Reddit or any of the discords for your desired TTRPG - usually numbers favor DnD5e, but there's a fair few on Pathfinder 2e nowadays too.

However, the best luck I've had in more recent years has been on startplaying.games - where you can find a paid DM/GM. (Not a shill, just what I have personally experienced)

I could go into what I believe the benefits of a paid vs unpaid game are, but that's a lot of extra for just this.

[–] BassTurd@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

2 very close friends, my wife that's my friend, another close friend, and at least another dozen I would consider friends. Then there are many acquaintances that I enjoy associating with, but we're not a as close and don't talk frequently. Also a brother, sister, and BiL that I'm close with and do friend things with.

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 1 points 1 week ago

Irl? Like one and a half irl friends (the second one and I vibe really well but we're both pretty independent)

[–] ninjaphysics@beehaw.org 1 points 1 week ago

I realize not close ones, but my partner is for sure my #1. Hard to rely on the one for everything, and social anxiety trying to make new friends as I get older is even more daunting. Lesson to the youth - take care to have friends as you age!

3 One of them lives abroad and the other two I see every few months.

[–] Lowleekun@hexbear.net 1 points 1 week ago

Not sure at this point but it is getting less and less. It becomes harder to hold them together as time goes. I know I need to exert more effort but it sucks if your friends don't reach out at all. Starting transition, while being the best decision of my life, has really not helped in that regard. Although I can be happy to only have lost one friend directly from that.