the_dunk_tank

Housing

Roe v Wade

Life expectancy

Mass shootings every day

Student debt relief plan was shot down

Supreme Court is filled with right wing judges

Credit card delinquency rate

This reads like my first resume where i was listing the useless college projects I did.

Tackled inflation & lowered costs

Lemme just shell out 200 bucks for the store-brand variants of a week's load of groceries that USED to cost 50 if I was getting the ritzy settler brands. And the lie detector test determined... That was a lie.

Tackled the climate crisis

Lemme just look outside and see how it was in the 60s where I'm at for Christmas. We used to be able to count on a foot of snow being on the ground by now. The lie detector test determined... That was a lie.

Invested in Amerika and created good jobs

Lemme just check Indeed, Monster, and my local temp agency real quick... And the lie detector test determined... That was a lie.

Made Amerika safer from gun violence

Cops done shot up MORE PEOPLE THAN THEY HAVE FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS THIS YEAR ALONE. And the lie detector test determined... That was a lie.

Made higher education more affordable

Where's the debt forgiveness Joseph? And the lie detector test determined... That was a lie.

Strengthened democracy at home and abroad

You had hundreds of activists locked up between Palestinians and Black folk; more than half of them have been given RICO charges that will put them away for decades if not for the rest of their lives, and you claim you 'strengthened DEMOCRACY'? CRACKER PLEASE.

Confirmed highly qualified judges

Uh... Where? Who?

Yawn, read the Chinese President's address instead.

2023 MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS of the Xi-Han Administration

★ PREVENTED INFLATION & LOWERED COSTS

Consumer and wholesale prices fell, avoiding the years-long inflationary and cost-of-living crisis present in the rest of the world.

★ TACKLED THE CLIMATE CRISIS

Installed 230 GW of wind and solar power - double that of the US and EU combined. The world's first pebble-bed gas-cooled high-temperature nuclear reactor entered commercial service. The number of electric vehicle charging stations reached 100,000 with 33% in rural areas. Despite high power consumption increases of nearly 10% year-on-year, the country is set to reach peak carbon emissions ahead of schedule.

★ PREVENTED A REAL ESTATE CRISIS

The ongoing property sector crisis continues to be managed, preventing Japan-like stagnation.

★ OVERSAW INNOVATION-DRIVEN DEVELOPMENT

The C919 large passenger airplane entered commercial service. The Chinese-built large cruise ship completed its trial voyage, and the Shenzhou spaceships are continuing their missions in space. Further advances in the domestic semiconductor industry have been made.

★ STRENGTHENED MULTILATERAL INSTITUTIONS

Various international trade deals were denominated in local currencies. Several more countries were invited to join BRICS.

and so on and so forth, etc. etc. I only have my laptop and can't use my right pointer finger so I'm pretty tired of navigating the internet and typing lol

Here's a list of all the things I people hate me for failing to do. People are going to love me if I just lie through my teeth and claim I did an awesome job on all of them

The climate crisis is over. He tackled it.

my sincere reaction to seeing this

● Provided exceptional workplace ethic while serving as supervisor to over 50 departments while maintaining personal staff.

man really posted he solved the climate crisis and legalised abortion in amerikkka
https://twiiit.com/POTUS/status/1741206275055034388
this is a list of things that sound good, and then an explanation about how the claims fall short

TACKLED THE CLIMATE CRISIS
wrote “the climate crisis” on the ground and then tripped on it

PROTECTED ACCESS TO REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH CARE
by making sure hospital doors are unlocked during business hours

ACHIEVED WORLD PEACE
uniting it in hatred towards me

CONVERTED USA TO 150% RENEWABLE ENERGY
technically fossil fuels are renewable on a long enough time span

CURED CANCER
made crab jerky

HOUSED ALL THE HOMELESS
by throwing them all in prison

GAVE EVERY CITIZEN $2,000,000
in tax breaks if they donate to my campaign

invested in America & created good jobs

Did Nathan Felder write this?

MADE AMERICA SAFER FROM GUN VIOLENCE

About 1,000 less deaths than last year. Lol

The proposed law would restrict federal funding to states that didn’t comply. Red states took it to court, and Biden threw in the towel and added “exemptions” to the states.

The legislation never received a vote in the Senate.

"tackle", "protect", "safer", "strengthen"... What a vocabulary. I can't tell if I'm reading something about football or a war report.

Straight up delusional. God damn.

me trying to update my resume when i spent the last 3 years smoking weed and playing video games at my job:

1. No you didn't

2. No, you most certainly didn't (although to be fair no one president can do this)

3. Ok, the high speed rail stuff is pretty cool. I'm in a good mood, so you get one.

4. No you didn't

5. Wasn't there more mass shootings in 2023 than days?

6. Could have fooled me

7. Yeah, you 'spoke out' against it. But no one listened.

8. None of that is relevant thanks to the supreme court, and democrats would never use the GOP tactics of putting their alleged ideological loyalties as upmost priority.

"Protected millions of acres of lands and waters"

If anyone tells you it's wrong to lie on your resume just show them this.

Fixed climate has he? What is he, a X-Men character?

and abroad

Launched the American Climate Corps.

18-26 year olds getting paid $15/h to clean up oil spills are going to save us.