this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2026
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Brand New Sentence

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Showcasing the brazen and nouveau in English communication.

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[–] supernicepojo@lemmy.world 44 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Without further evidence I choose to believe their lust consumed them and they attempted to use it right there on the porch in front of god and everyone.

[–] zqwzzle@lemmy.ca 5 points 5 hours ago

Do they still have hump jumpers for flesh lights?

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 22 points 6 hours ago (4 children)

How do these missionaries even know about flesh lights? How did they react? So much info is missing here. It's just a picture and no other context than that sentence.

[–] Equinox1289@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Utah has the highest porn consumption in the country. The shame is how they keep you in the cult.

[–] trebach@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 hour ago

Also isolation. If you get disfellowshipped, other Mormons can't even speak to you without being punished.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 5 points 4 hours ago

I'm sure they're taught all about them as children.

[–] jdr@lemmy.ml 7 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Joseph Smith saw them with his magic glasses. Have you not even read the third testament?

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

Have you not even read the third testament?

No ... wait, it goes "old", "new", and "third"? What kinda naming standard is that? Why not "newer"? I mean this is half a tier better than "new_final_final"

[–] athatet@lemmy.zip 5 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

The Book of Mormon calls itself the third testament of Jesus Christ. The old and New Testament being the first two.

[–] xtr0n@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 hours ago

Wait. But Jesus isn’t in the Old Testament? So how can TBOM be the 3rd testament of Jesus? It can be the 3rd testament or it can be the 2nd testament of Jesus but not the 3rd of Jesus.

I mean it’s also all made up fairy tales ans IDK why I would expect logical consistency from the Mormon church.

[–] jdr@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

Unfortunately the last prophet wasn't familiar with semver, git, or even Word 97

[–] Wren@lemmy.today 6 points 6 hours ago

That's the community you're in.

[–] reallykindasorta@slrpnk.net 26 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

tbf I know exactly which paw cleaner device and they don’t look that dissimilar

[–] TheLowestStone@lemmy.world 20 points 6 hours ago

And that's why I don't keep them next to each other... anymore.

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 9 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Mrs_deWinter@feddit.org 1 points 2 hours ago

Judging by their reaction, having a fleshlight on one's porch seems like a sensible idea.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)
[–] waz@feddit.uk 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Don’t judge other people by your own standards. They just exposed themselves as onanists.

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 8 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Which isn't even a real thing by the way. Onan was smote because he refused to impregnate his dead brother's wife, which he was obligated to do under levirate marriage tradition. More modern theologists said "well we don't do that anymore so let's pretend he got smote for jorkin' it" and thus Onanism was completely bastardized.

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 7 points 4 hours ago

Sodomy too

There's no reason given for what sin(s) the people of the region of Sodom and Gomorrah practiced to offend God. A lot of people focus on the fact that the MEN of the city wanted to rape the MEN who were guests of Lot. This glosses over the fact that the men of the city wanted to RAPE the men who were guests of Lot.

Sodomy is associated with non-reproductive sexual activity, when in fact it should be associated with male on male rape. So also completely bastardized