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FBI Lowers Hiring Standards To Approve Applicants Who Admit To Having Sex With Animals
(www.techdirt.com)
FBI 'lowers' standards...
this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2026
237 points (99.2% liked)
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What a coincidence. I'm currently researching people who have sex with dogs. I'll be in my lab..
I feel so horrible for laughing. Take your upvote you evil person.
So DEI is fine, as long as they don’t have to hire black people. Sex offenders really need a leg up though.
What a heinous bunch of cunts.
They apparently love DEI
Dog
Equestrian
Inclusion
Ya know? I gotta plead ignorance on this one. I've never applied to work for the FBI. So I can't comment on what the process is like....but never had I once considered the fact that the FBI not only asks on the application, and follows up on a background check who fucks animals.
I don't ever have thoughts that people fuck animals. 10 years ago when the epstein stuff came out, I was surprised to learn that not only do grown men fuck kids, but it's also not even that uncommon among the rich.
Now I'm finding out this animal fucking is a big enough problem that it was something they have to look into with applicants.
And even weirder, they have abandoned that barrier to entry.
What the fuck are we even DOING on this planet???
What the fuck are we even DOING on this planet???
Fucking animals, apparently.
"The FBI previously refused to hire job applicants if they admitted to hiring sex workers or stealing from an employer — or engaging in acts of bestiality." They want sex traffickers and sexual abusers.
Finally I can join FBI
OP's mom was a straight up animal 🥵
This is so that the governor of Nebraska, famous pig fucker Jim Pillen, can moonlight as a federal agent
Seems lowering our standards has been in the news a lot lately.
I make a lot of jokes about my employer's low standards for hiring people. Never thought I'd see the FBI limbo their way beneath that bar...Jesus.
We are only just past halfway through the 2nd year. I think we will be singing much, much lower. There is still a lot of time
It's still 100% legal to fuck animals in West Virginia.
Coal Miner's mother....
In fairness to Hawaii, I don't believe they have squirrels.
Now you know why 🌝
FYI: they changed the laws in NM and WY, but it's still 100% legal to fuck animals in WV.
And how do you know the laws so well? When was your last rabies shot? 🌝
"Agent Horsefucker, come here and take a look at this."
Uh yeah that guy died from getting rearended. lol what a weird read.
He should have kept his Hands off that penis.
He was trying to get a free colonoscopy, it didn't pan out so well. The horse was alright though.
Next it's sexual predators. Rapist. Pedos.
Mate, I've got news for you.
I mean officially. Even with criminal record. Yeah I know there are a bunch of them already.
finally an easy interview question and now it doesnt even matter.
Seems like all we have to do is find a higher-ups friend or family member that was hired right after this and I'm pretty sure we've found our goat fucker.
This is not a rule you create or get rid of for a bunch of people. One goat per rule change.
First prostitutes, now animals, then kids?
What about people who Fuck an Entire Country?
Who hasnt been tempted by those sheep at the petting zoo at least once?
Really going all out hiring the dregs, eh?