I actually did this multiple times in high school. To the point people actually started just moving out of the way when they saw me coming
this post was submitted on 28 Aug 2026
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
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That's one way to pick up ladies
A real pickup autist
Damn that's good!
Looks like you just got picked up
This is the most romantic and sexy thing that can happen to a woman
Women want to have their shoulders gripped forcibly and be lifted off the ground by a stranger who hasn’t said a word to them?
By that metric, Nancy Guthrie must have swooned. 🙄
King Kong
The original BBC.
It is either that or one of the scariest and most confounding things. Different strokes for different folks.
Tbf, if she's really mirroring OP's attempts to go around in an effort to block them, that's on her.
That being said, we can't trust anon to tell the truth
"if we both step right, then step left, you're mirroring me and you deserve to be physically manhandled. That's on you, as a woman."
Tbf he didn't say that in this hypothetical situation the woman doing the same as anon meant she was mirroring anon. He said that if mirroring anon in an attempt to block him was the intent of this lady, it was to be expected of anon to react in some way or another. Now, arguably, anon could have resolved this issue orally, but, anon claims autism.
... I've known autistic women who would massively unironically agree with that, and others for whom it would be nearly the worst thing that could possibly ever happen.
Either way... unintentional power move by way of autism.
I'm not being ironic, women love that stuff. I don't mind it myself.
Fake: Anon does not go outside
Gay: Anon did not pick up a girl, but had hot gay sex instead.
Impossible: write a green text without making it about a 'girl'
The last one i read was about anon getting raped by his sisters fiancee. So not about a girl...
What
Now that's the sort of creative greentext I like!
One of my favorites is a dnd character backstory of a tough guy with a stuffed tarasque
That situation never had an official name that I know of so I call it(or I heard it at some point) “Thanks for the dance“.
I've always heard it referred to as "treestumping".
Never heard that one before. Why tree stumping?
An impasse
A true ope moment. A quadruple ope even
Found the (fellow) Midwesterner.
Quick! Distract them with a bottle of ranch dressing to make an escape!
It was for the best.
QTE successful
A real lore enthusiast would know that should be choccy milk?