this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2026
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] DJKJuicy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 hour ago

Chef Boyardee, Totinos party pizza, and Hamburger Helper are how I got through college. He'll be fine.

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 6 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I feel like peanut butter and tortillas is the way to go. Filling, protein, yummy and cheap.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 4 points 4 hours ago

You might even manage to gain five kilos in two weeks!

[–] bedwyr@piefed.ca 42 points 10 hours ago (4 children)

Canned food is not the cheapest way to go. Dry goods are. Beans and rice you could do for a dollar a day.

You won't enjoy it though.

[–] curiousaur@reddthat.com 12 points 5 hours ago

Won't enjoy it? Just learn to cook and buy some spices. Big bag of carrots, some onions, cellary. All super cheap. Splurge on one jar of chicken better than bullion. Add some cans of beans and dry pasta if you want and you have an excellent soup. Cook one big batch and you can eat it for days at about $1 per day.

Make a spicy Cajun red beans and rice.

I was broke after college for a while and got really good at shopping, meal planning and cooking, and still make some of those recipes today for my family because they are genuinely so good and comforting.

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 hours ago

Naw, generations of very clever broke people have learned to do amazing stuff with rice and beans. Got some extra raisins? Sure throw em in. Cocoa powder that's about to expire, why not. Some peanut butter left in the fridge and you got no bread, sure throw that in.

Oops you just reinvented mole.

[–] dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

beans celery onion and bell pepper is like $8–9 and hopefully you have paprika and garlic and you definitely have salt and pepper. That's like 85% of red beans and rice assuming you have rice already. Or if you can get some noodles and chili powder and an onion and diced tomatoes and tomato sauce and you got a pot of cinci style chili thats pretty damn filling. Or an onion and northern beans and cornbread is incredibly filling.

[–] bedwyr@piefed.ca 6 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

You can eat really cheap if you know where to look for food on sale and have the wherewithall.

I know a store that sometimes has discounted turkeys on sale at .50/pound, for a young turkey it's like 7 bucks. That, a 15 pound bag of russets or two, about 5 bucks each, some carrots and celery, about 2-3 for about two pounds. After you eat the meat, boil the carcass with all the fat and everything with the carrots and celery, you can eat for like two weeks on that alone if you had to.

But eating turkey soup gets old.

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 4 points 5 hours ago

You'll have video games to comfort you though

[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 4 points 7 hours ago

Throw in some peas - they're also inexpensive and taste good.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

It doesn't take all that much to make a delicious rice- or beans-based meal. Though you do need to buy a few more ingredients. Bibimbap is a great rice dish. Emerald dal is spinach and lentils, but I'd put dried lentils in the same cost-effective category as beans (wouldn't be surprised if they are a bean, assuming peas are also beans) and a batch could last you for a few days.

[–] bedwyr@piefed.ca 6 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I actually just spent like two weeks eating almost nothing except for rice and beans.

I had little in the way of spicing it up, some greens I foraged, oyster mushrooms I had foraged and dried, some homemade vinegar with some garlic powder while it lasted, maybe a bit of beet powder. Salt obviously. Pepper, cayenne, or chilie powder while it lasted.

Back on meat and potatoes for now.

Lentils, and peas are old world, beans are new world plants. The lentils and peas will cook quickly, while beans take hours of boiling to cook. That said last time I tried to make rice and lentils it didn't taste as good idk why.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Imo, lentils need carrots the way food in general needs salt, so that might have been the difference. I assume other sweetish (culinary) vegetables like squash or sweet potatoes would work as well, but since I tried them with carrots, I haven’t made them without to test (seriously, it’s that big a difference, plus carrots are the cheapest of the three).

It doesn’t need to be much, just one or two roughly chopped and thrown in with the raw lentils to cook together. I don't generally want the mushy carrot mixed in with the lentils afterward, so I just eat it separately (which is why I chop it roughly- if you chop it finely, it’d probably basically melt into the finished dish).

[–] bedwyr@piefed.ca 2 points 3 hours ago

Thanks for the tip. Carrots are an underutilized food. I briefly worked for a chef with a small high end restaurant serving a fancy hotel, he did a bunch of carrot side dishes and mixed it in with a lot of stuff it was good idk how he seasoned it all.

Suprisingly, apple is good in a lot of stuff like this. Green ones are traditional for savory type foods but the others are good too.

[–] 100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it 16 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Is anon speedrunning scurvy?

[–] Redditmodstouchgrass@lemmy.zip 10 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

Probably enough vitamin c in the tomato sauce to prevent that. Unless they're big fucking cans he's gonna be hungry as hell though.

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 4 hours ago

I lived on chef b for like a year. Apparently they grow their own tomatoes.

[–] SalmiakDragon@feddit.nu 7 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Also, I doubt 2 weeks is a long enough period for scurvy to set in anyway

[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 5 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

You think someone who thinks like this is eating correctly in the first place?

[–] SalmiakDragon@feddit.nu 1 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (1 children)

How many people with scurvy do you know? It's rare.

From Scurvy - Wikipedia

It takes at least a month of little to no vitamin C in the diet before symptoms occur.[1][2] In modern times, scurvy occurs most commonly in neglected children, people with mental disorders, unusual eating habits such as ARFID, alcoholism, and older people who live alone.[2] Other risk factors include intestinal malabsorption and dialysis.[2]

[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (1 children)

Personally I'd say this person falls into the mental disorder or unusual eating habits category, but their favorite fruit could be oranges so who knows?

[–] SalmiakDragon@feddit.nu 2 points 3 hours ago

Nah, just Teenager. They enjoy the benefits of having parents who feed them most of the time.

I've heard even poor college students can avoid scurvy by adding ketchup to their otherwise exclusively noodle-based diet. Bodies are oddly resilient in some ways.

[–] 100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it 1 points 4 hours ago

The blueprints for a healthy diet are playing hard to find

[–] Darkblue@lemmy.world 76 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

This is the exact premise of a German TV series, where the parents leave the kids money for food while on vacation, and the kids decide to save the money by only eating ... ravioli.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ravioli_(TV_series)

[–] the_disseminator@lemmy.world 7 points 9 hours ago

Actually watched this series in my high school German class in the 90s.

[–] Noel_Skum@sh.itjust.works 41 points 19 hours ago

Dream big, fella. Reach for the stars.

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 33 points 19 hours ago (3 children)

2 kilos/4.5# rice, two dozen eggs,a kilo/2# of bacon, a bottle each of soy sauce and knockoff sriracha.

Go from $15 to $60 and eat like a sumo wrestler!

[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Might want to throw a cheap rice cooker in there to avoid the inevitable mishap from anon's likely unfamiliarity with operating a stovetop

[–] huppakee@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago

It's only 14 nights and parents probably have insurance, I'd risk it at their age.

[–] zakobjoa@lemmy.world 9 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

And you're never gonna have to eat sodium again!

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 5 points 16 hours ago

Not like canned noodles will have any less sodium.

Alternate: 4kg/9# cabbage, 2kg/4.5# onion, 2kg/4.5# barley or brown rice, box of bouillon cubes.

[–] Wander@sh.itjust.works 5 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Rice, beans/peas, TVP, then soy sauce and sriracha.

Bonus it can all go into one pot.

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 hours ago

Absolutely!

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 2 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

This is self-harm. Ravioli tastes fucking awful.

[–] Zizzy@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 9 hours ago

Raviolis taste amazing. Chef boyardee canned raviolis though, truly awful

[–] bedwyr@piefed.ca 11 points 10 hours ago

The ravioli sold in cans is fucking awful. There are good raviolis. Just as frozen lasagna is pretty lackluster, but my homemade stuff is great.

[–] ekZepp@lemmy.world 9 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

2 weeks of ravioli cans is considered human torture in 15 countries in the world.

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.cafe 26 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

Baby, you got a stew goin'.

[–] turkalino@sh.itjust.works 9 points 16 hours ago

Nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli (the first can doesn’t count)

[–] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 7 points 16 hours ago

This is exactly how a per diem actually works.

Go for it, anon.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 17 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (3 children)

I wish I could buy a ravioli can for $1 ...

Solid plan even at $2-3 per can, though.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 hours ago

I like ravioli as much as the next guy, but I won't pay those prices

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 15 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

$1 for Chef Boyardee on sale, but you'll need to spend another $0.50 on toilet paper

[–] Varesti@lemmy.zip 11 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Just put your thumb over the end of the garden hose.

[–] some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world 7 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Akasazh@lemmy.world 6 points 15 hours ago

Cheap enema, though

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[–] Admetus@sopuli.xyz 12 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

This seems like 14 days of chemically laced, processed food being absorbed by anon's body.

[–] Klear@piefed.world 15 points 18 hours ago

This seems more like a lifetime of that.

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