this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2023
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I was initially going to call my hypothetical gay bar "The Man Hole" but I guess that's already a thing. Would "The Cocktagon" be too direct? What would you pick?

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[–] JuryNullification@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I saw graffiti of an octopus but all its arms were cocks and it was labeled COCKTOPUS so probably that

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Thjere is a relevant Oglaf about this (Oglaf is extremely nsfw)

[–] GinAndJuche@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

Oglaf probably has a relevant comic for everything. The xkcd of fetishes

[–] UmbraVivi@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago
[–] MechanizedPossum@hexbear.net 26 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Girl Dinner, and the logo is an opossum eating out of a trash can. screm-cool

idc if scaring away anybody who isn't my specific brand of disaster lesbian is a sound business idea, this just sounds too good to not do it.

[–] Raebxeh@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago

The trash opossum is important. Need a way to keep the cishet ladies away.

[–] Riffraffintheroom@hexbear.net 26 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago

it's this one

[–] President_Obama@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Good Boys and it's for blind gay men who can bring their guidedogs in

[–] WoofWoof91@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago

it'd lure me in ngl

[–] WhoaSlowDownMaurice@hexbear.net 23 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I'd make it caveman themed and call it Homo Erectus

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[–] WoofWoof91@hexbear.net 21 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

The Pound

pup gear or a fursuit mandatory

or you get given a collar on entry, and maybe a leash

thinkin-lenin

i'm putting too much thought into this

if you donate £10,000 into my bank account, i pinky swear that i will open this in a disadvantaged neighbourhood (where i live) and not just spend it on enough mdma to kill a small village

[–] CannotSleep420@lemmygrad.ml 21 points 2 years ago

The Cocktagon sounds more like a gay MMA gym.

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Nobody said Trap House yet?

[–] frauddogg@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

an' if you ain't a bro

GET UP OUT MY TRAP HOOOOOOOOOOUSE

[–] Yurt_Owl@hexbear.net 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The bar would be called "No Straights" and it would enforce that as a policy

[–] pooh@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Might be kinda tough to enforce though. Would you force people to have gay sex at gun point? I probably would. ¯\(ツ)

[–] Yurt_Owl@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

Like metal detectors I have created straight detectors and if a straight passes through alarms will blare and they'll be thrown back out onto the street and if they come back the rooftop snipers will shoot them

[–] DBVegas@hexbear.net 17 points 2 years ago

It'd be a gay bar the size of a warehouse called "Sam's Chub" instead of "Sam's Club" and you can carry out an oversized shopping cart of twinks.

[–] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago

Formerly Chuck's

[–] Poison_Ivy@hexbear.net 16 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

The Hot House

And it'd be plant and greenhouse themed.

6pm-3am It'd be a shitty rave-nightclub at night with lots of blacklights and tall palms, trees, flowers and tropical plants that would glow under the blacklights (only aimed at the plants bc those things can burn your skin with long exposure). Lots of living walls in high-up spots (so the drunks and dancers don't eat them or whatever). LGBTs only, straights get fed to the plants.

8am-2pm In the day time it'd be a pleasant sunday brunch spot (except every day would be Sunday) with lots of sunlight streaming in through the ceiling skylights and lots of pretty plants. We'd have tons of fun activities for the LGBTs who don't like to drink and dance. LGBT only, straights get fed to the plants.

We would use it as a front to do crime. Lots of crime. So much fucking crime. Probably kidnap Commissioner Gordon while I'm at it.

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[–] Frank@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago

The "Call Me Ishmael" (I am reading Moby Dick, which is not about moby's dick but may turn out to be about dicks idk)

[–] Krejall@ttrpg.network 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

First Draft: It would have that weird lighting that turns everything greyscale, a fancy dress code, cold war era decor, and atomic bomb themed novelty cocktails.

Dr. Strangepub

or

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Cock

[–] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

How about: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Dong?

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[–] AlpineSteakHouse@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

Jar Jar Twinks.

[–] RonPaulyShore@hexbear.net 13 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

NFL Clubhouse

[–] Egon@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

"The Local Gay Bar"
Should be good for getting all the straight bros trying to pick up women that go to gay bars for a safe space, to come by. Then the actual gay bars can be nice places again

[–] operacion_ogro@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] ElGosso@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I'm from New Jersey so I would call it the Pork Roll

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[–] Ideology@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago

A trans hangout space called:

The Button

[–] chickentendrils@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago

"Pickle's"

With the quotes

[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago

There was one literally called "beefcakes" in one of the cities here, surely we can do better than that.

It was a gay bar that actually sold hamburgers (lol) and everything was pink.

[–] Hestia@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago

Hexbears and JinxTwinks

[–] AndyCapps@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago

The Vatican

[–] Lucien@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago

The Cock Pit

[–] frauddogg@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 2 years ago

Crankshafts

[–] bubbalu@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago

'Starlight' and there would be a big mural of the stars over the main seating area with LEDs in the stars. The rest would have lots of chandeliers and astrology/mermaid motifs. Overall, it would be sort of Art Nuveau but also dingy and you could get a beer for $2 or a well drink for $4

[–] JamesConeZone@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] JamesConeZone@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] mayo_cider@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] JamesConeZone@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago (3 children)

rage-cry mfw that's so much better than mine

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[–] Red_Sunshine_Over_Florida@hexbear.net 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Over the Rainbow seems appropriate.

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[–] Zodiark@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago

Mullen's Bar & Disco.

[–] MayoPete@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago

Italian Beef

[–] autism_2@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago
[–] anaesidemus@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

"The Place Where Good Friends Meet"

[–] Misanthrope@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 years ago

Was listening to "If Books Could Kill" or "Maintenance Phase" and the hosts played a great game of "Steakhouse or Gay Bar?"

Hilariously difficult.

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